Inner Connections Parshat Ki Tezei-You Can Want, but WAIT!

You know those children who “want” everything that they see (or hear about). They see a new bicycle, they want it, a toy, they have to have it. It could be a gadget or clothes. Maybe it’s a trip to a certain place? It doesn’t matter if it’s age appropriate, financially doable, dangerous or safe, socially acceptable within their society or not, if there’s a value to having it or not, they want it. They feel like they HAVE to have it.

Is there anything wrong with that? With wanting something?

Let’s think about it.

I also want things. I want things all the time. I want things and I don’t even know that if I were to have them if it would be good for me or not. Maybe having them would be a burden? Maybe having them would help me grow? I don’t know. I want things and I’m not sure whether or not I need them. I want things and sometimes I feel like “I have to have it…” in order to….be happy, satisfied, comfortable.

Children want things and then they get them and the majority of time after a short time the item is put in a corner. It’s forgotten about. It’s old. They’ve moved on and they want something else.

I’m sure that I do the same.

Again, is there anything wrong with wanting?

The Torah tells us in this week’s parsha, Ki Tetzei, that it’s human, that it’s normal to want. Wanting in itself, there’s nothing wrong with it. And I’m not why we get so upset about children wanting and wanting and asking and asking. They are just being human and normal.

But there’s a lesson to be learned about our wanting. Maybe there’s a lesson we can learn about how we react to wanting.

A man goes to war and takes a captive. He can want her. Fine. But there’s a condition. He has to wait. Yes, he has to wait an entire month to see if he really wants her or if it’s just impulsive behavior. Does he really want her or is it just lust?

It’s a huge lesson. Not to act on impulse, but to wait. Wait and see if you really want it. Wait to see if you’ll be responsible about having it. Wait to see if it is really actually what you want and if you get it, will it be beneficial? Will it be good?

We don’t have to react with an impulsive “no” or an impulsive “yes”. We can think about it. We can wait. We can leave the door open that if it’s good for us to have, it will come to us at the right time in the right way and we’ll get it, and if not, then we won’t.

I always pray that I should only want what is good for me and that if I get it that it should come at the right time in the right way. And if it’s not good for me to have it then Hashem should take away that desire.

With much blessings,

Shabbat Shalom,

Elana