Inner Connections: Tu b'Av the Day of Love

Today is Tu b’Av, the 15th of Av. It’s taught that this is a joyous day. A day of love or finding love and a day of building. How so?

All the single maidens of Israel would dress up in the same white dress and dance. No one knew who was rich or who was poor. No one knew who came from a prestigious family or who didn’t.

The single men would come and matches were made based on…I guess based on you.

Not based on your status. Not based on your wealth. Not based on comparison. Based on you.

So I always thought that the message was for the other. It was for the man to learn that these externalities don’t matter.

And then I realized something. The women had to dress the same, they had to throw off the weight of external comparisons not for them (the men), but for themselves.

You see love אהבה has the numerical value of 13 and so does one אחד. You have to find and connect to your oneself, your uniqueness in order to love. You have to love yourself, look inside yourself and figure out “Who am I?” “What can I do to bring out my goodness, my uniqueness, my beauty.”

You don’t have to be like anybody else. Don’t compare yourself to anybody else. You do have to love yourself and the life that Hashem gave you. Love your body and your mind with all the weaknesses, limitations and challenges that Hashem gave you.

And then?

And then with that love and that oneness of acceptance you find your soulmate, your partner, the one to love and to feel loved. The one to accept for who he is. And together, each with their love and their loveness, 13 +13 =26, they make up the numerical value of Hashem (one of Hashem’s names).