The Journeys of Life & Peace

I have lived in a lot of places; many cities and even various countries. Even in my early years when I didn’t move, we traveled. We traveled A LOT. Sometimes I went from A to B because I wanted to and sometimes, I went from B to A because I felt compelled to.

Now you would think that in my life of travels I would call a journey as a physical place going from one space to another, but that’s not necessarily true. I can tell you that some of the times where I went the furthest in becoming who I am or changing myself in a way that was good were actually the ones where my body stayed in place and I physically didn’t move.

You see in life our journeys might not have anything to do with time or our physical space. They could be people or experiences that change you. They also might not have anything to do with the surroundings, they might only have to do with you. Here you were younger here you were older. Here you were more mature and here you felt more strength. Here you felt vulnerable and here you felt empowered.

The journey is not just the travel. The journey is the process, the process called life.

We can try to run away and the problem runs after us. We might desire to stay comfortable as we are and then be forced to run.

And when you see how each person who comes into your life and how each experience is to change you and enable you to get closer to a better place you look at all these “moves” quite differently. Nothing is in vain. No place, no experience a waste. If anything at all they are lessons in life to bring me to a special place.

Am Yisrael was in the desert for forty years and they traveled. The Torah makes a point in this week’s parshah, Matot, to list their travels. Some places they stayed longer and some shorter. Some places they had to grow over time and in some places their growth was quicker. Here something big happened and here nothing significant happened at all. They had to go through each journey in order to get to the Land of Israel. The land flowing with milk and honey.

Why all the travels? What do they represent? They are the process of life. The life as we know it where you simply can’t get to “Israel” to “redemption” to that beautiful, wonderful place without experiencing and going through the journeys of life.

So take a deep breath as you go through your journey of today. Every moment has a purpose.

See where Hashem takes you knowing that it gets closer to that final, wonderful place.

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In this week’s parsha the Torah mentions the exact day that Aharon HaCohen died-the first of Av (the 5th month from Nissan). In halacha (Jewish Law-Shulchan Aruch 580:2) we see that while it is prohibited to fast on Rosh Chodesh, one is allowed to fast on Rosh Chodesh Av, the day that Aharon died.

What was so great about Aharon?

The Mishna teaches us to, “Be among the disciples of Aaron, loving peace and pursuing peace, loving people and bringing them close to Torah. " Ethics of the Fathers 1:12.

What does it mean to pursue peace and why is it so great?

Let’s give some examples…

He takes out the container of rice and spills it on the floor. The knee jerk reaction? Blame the person…“Why did you do that?” (And what is he going to tell you? Because it’s fun?) Purse peace, no blame, just find a solution. Take the broom and sweep it up.

The child needs to go to the bathroom one minute before his school bus comes. He misses the bus. The knee jerk reaction? “Why didn’t you go before?” As though children were robots and their needs or wants don’t count. Purse peace. Keep your mouth shut. No pointing the finger or putting blame, just find a solution. Either you bring him to school or he stays home.

The bill wasn’t paid. A mistake was made. The dinner burned. There is no clean clothing. The money was lost, bad investment, wrong turn.

The knee jerk reaction? Blame, blame someone, blame yourself. Rant and rave.

Aharon was so HUGE. Why? Because he didn’t just love peace. We all do. At least, in theory. No, he pursed it. Meaning he had to work so hard at it. Peace is something that you have to work at to achieve. It’s not about being passive or submissive. It’s active. You have to go after it and work at it. To hold back and not just react. To train yourself to look at things differently. Not say words that are pointless and that you will most likely regret. To change the emotions which lay in your heart from emotions of shame and blame and looking to defend to compassion, being more logical and having emunah (faith) that it’s all destined from Hashem.

“Be a disciple of Aharon,” Hillel teaches us. Purse peace. Don’t blame, just find a solution. And if there is no solution? It was broken, can’t be fixed and it was unique. No there isn’t another one. Like the beautiful challah plate that a client handmade me with love that was dropped and fell crashing to the floor? Like my computer that was soaked in water and all the pictures and documents lost?

Even here we pursue peace, no point in blaming. What about the solution? Accept. With acceptance there will be a blessing that comes out of this. It was ratzon Hashem (Hashem’s will). Pursue Peace (Shalom) which is a name of Hashem. Yes, this more important. So important that one, on Rosh Chodesh Av (which is this coming Tuesday night/Wednesday), in the merit of Aharon haCohen can even fast.

Shabbat Shalom, Chodesh Tov,

Many blessings,

Elana

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