Inner Connections Parshat Chukot

Miriam haNavia (the Prophetess).

On Miriam’s merit Israel had a well of water all those years in the desert. Did you ever ask why a well of water?

I had an idea…

Miriam’s name begins with “mar” bitterness, but it ends with “yam” sea. She was the woman who could see what others around her couldn’t see. Miriam in the midst of the bitterness of slavery saw that there was going to be a redemption in the future. Yes, there was going to be a time when all that bitterness would be sweet. When she and all the women would sing with tambourines at the sea.

This was Miriam hanavia. Her life was all about “effort, effort, effort”.

Remember she was the one who told her father, “Have more children. The Egyptians want to kill the baby boys. You, by separating from your wife, kill the possibility for both baby boy and baby girl to even enter the world.”

Miriam was also one of the two midwifes (the other we know was her mother) who, risking her life, made the effort to save lives. She made the effort to comfort babies even when one would say, “What is the point? Why bother, when they will surely die?”

Miriam understood that anyways the outcome wasn’t in her hands. All there was to do was to make an effort and leave it up to Hashem.

Miriam dies in this week’s parsha, Chukot and suddenly there was no more water. The people mistakenly thought that water comes only when you can see it-only when you can see and know with clarity how it will come. But the well of Miriam shows us that our job is just to put in that effort, even when we look down into a well and can’t see anything but darkness.

You drop your bucket down and you make an effort. You work hard and you pray that when you slowly bring the bucket up there will be water inside, but I can imagine that sometimes along the way up the buckets tips and spills out all the water and then you think that there is none.

But Miriam showed us to have faith. Have faith in the darkness, even when you can’t see. The water is there, but it doesn’t always come at the moment that you want. You might have to drop the bucket down once again, but do keep putting in the effort.

Connect to the idea of Miriam and the well of water. Throw your bucket of faith and effort into the dark well and let Hashem fill it up.

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We learn that even the wisest man of all, King Solomon, didn’t understand this whole concept of the Red Heifer (parat aduma). How can the very same thing contaminate one and purify another?

I’m so happy that I’m not the only one. Really, it’s a bit of a relief to know that you can be the wisest of men and still not understand why this happens and why not this. Why does this event cause a person to cry in joy and also a person to cry in sorrow?

How can I be happy and also sad? Nervous and yet excited? Scared and yet relieved?

Can I see what’s going on and not have an answer?

Ah, this is the lesson of the parat aduma…there are things which we simply do not understand. The same force of purity is the force of impurity; the same source of holiness and elevation is exactly the area where one may fall.

What a relief to know that there are things for which we don’t have explanations or answers and a relief to know that all of this is from Hashem. It’s a relief to feel “normal” and to just accept that I don’t have all the answers; to leave certain unsolved questions for now and know that one day after 120, then maybe Hashem will reveal the answers to it all.

GOOD SHABBES!!!

With blessings,

Elana