Inner Connections Parshat Korach

I smiled to myself when I received the call. I knew the voice. I listened to her side and I empathized with the frustration. I heard the complaint. She was right. It is hard and it is exhausting and it is difficult.

But there was a little problem. She wasn’t open to seeing the other side. At least not at first because she was right.

They should help more. They shouldn’t leave their things on the floor and yes, they can do their own dishes.

That was objectively annoying. It’s something that should be stopped.

That was hurtful. He should have done it differently or said it in a different way.

She should have called more often or checked in to see if she was alright.

She was right. But the fight was pointless. Really, she was arguing with herself and she was getting way too emotional. I validated her exhaustion and then gently pointed out to her that…

For them it really was difficult to pick that up or put it away.

No, they actually didn’t know or didn’t think of it.

There really wasn’t any bad intention. In fact, it was the opposite.

He didn’t think because…he is human.

He did what he thought was right. He hasn’t yet learned to do it in a different way.

It wasn’t meant as a criticism, it really was just a comment or a reflection.

She cared, but herself was going through a challenging time…….

I heard on the phone that this woman gave a big sigh.

What was it? A sigh of relief? Of acceptance? A sigh of peace.

She’s amazing this woman. Why? Because she was right and yet she heard it. It made such difference in her life to have in mind that even if she was right there was more to the story. There was and always is another side.

Any controversy which is for the sake of Heaven will endure; and that which is not for the sake of Heaven will not endure. What is a controversy that is for the sake of Heaven? The controversy between Hillel and Shammai. And which is not for the sake of Heaven? The controversy of Korach and all his faction. (Avot 5:17)

What is a controversy for the sake of Heaven? One not where we are fighting to be right, but one where we strive for truth. And part of truth is understanding that there is another side, a different angle to the picture.

The law goes according to Hillel. Why? Because our Sages tell us he would always acknowledge first that Shammai had a point, he existed, he had a side. There was a dialogue, a discussion. His controversy had a purpose.

If only we could take a second to take a step back and think to ourselves before getting hurt, angry or upset that…

“Maybe there is another side?”

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I love this story. It happened this week.

There was a woman who hoped to have a natural birth after an emergency cesarean. On Sunday she was past her due date. The estimated birth weight of her baby was 4.3kg (~9.5 lbs). They did an ultrasound and much to their dismay found the baby to be sideways instead of head down. Needless to say, the chances of a natural birth were below slim.

I told her that we are just going to pray for a healthy baby, a healthy mommy and to accept whatever situation Hashem puts us in. I also told her to do a shoulder stand, check her sefarim, and to do one more ultrasound the next morning.

The next morning came. The baby’s head was down. They were going to start induction, but her labor started naturally before they had a room to start.

Her contractions were frequent and strong. She was in this natural process, so grateful, so happy, so strong.

The birth continued into the evening, but the baby’s heart beat kept going down and down.

There got to a point where the labor stopped progressing. The heart beat kept decelerating and there wasn’t anything “medical” that could be done except for a c-section.

There was a debate between the woman and the doctors. I stepped outside to get her husband.

“What???” He cried. “How can this be?” He ran into the room to clarify what was going on.

They asked for one more check. The doctor agreed just to show them that things just can’t happen naturally. He was wrong.

Within ten minutes she gave birth naturally to a 4kg (9lb) baby. I can’t tell you how surprised the doctor was, but also he too was thrilled and happy.

It was a BIG miracle no doubt. It was a naturally miraculous event called the birthing of a baby.

A miracles within nature….

From that story I will lead into another one from my week.

This week was the week of rushing with a capital R. I rushed like I never rushed before. One thing to the other. Rush, rush, rush.

We needed eggs, but I was in such a rush. I had no time to pick them up. I told myself on the way home from a client that only if there was a parking spot right in front of the store (which is located on the busiest of busy blocks) would I stop.

I drove a bit more slowly and there was nothing. Right before the red light of the stoplight turned green a car’s lights lit up and pulled away from the spot right where I was. He pulled out, I pulled in.

I’m telling you that this was a miracle. A naturally occurring miracle where you could say, “that’s not such a miracle.” But if you only knew the hour that I passed the store and if you only knew the street! You would agree that it was indeed a “naturally” occurring miracle where Hashem told me, “Hey, I’m here. Do you see me?”

So, I read something beautiful that will put this all together.

Rav Shimshon Pincus brings down that in this week’s parsha there was a battle going on between Korach and his men versus Moshe and Aharon.

To make a long story short Korach said that Aharon didn’t deserve to be the Cohen haGadol. That it was a selfish plot from Moshe, Aharon’s brother and not from Hashem. Hashem proved Korach wrong. He let the whole nation know that Aharon was the chosen one, but how?

Did a VOICE cry out from the Heavens, “Aharon is my anointed priest!”

No, no voice, just an event straight from nature. Twelves staffs were placed and the staff that corresponded to the chosen one would blossom with an almond flower. A sign so simply natural. Revealing the reality, the miracles and the will of Hashem within the beauty of daily life.

So here we see that we have a choice. You know the song Hashem is here Hashem is there, Hashem is truly everywhere. If only we open our eyes we can see His miracles in nature, in everyday “natural” events of daily life.

May we open our eyes to the “other side” with compassion and understanding May we see Hashem’s miracles, from the biggest to the smallest in every aspect of our lives.

With blessings, Shabbat Shalom!

Elana