Trust in the Moment
I want to take you back with me. It was over fourteen years ago. My eldest was one years old. I still nursed him and loved doing so. I waited four and a half years for him to come into the world. I started to worry. Was this a one-time miracle? Would he be the only one? Should I stop nursing and give my body the signal that it was time to try again? Should I continue, because neither him nor I wanted to stop?
I didn’t know what to do. We turned to my husband’s Rav, the Mashgiach of his Kollel for advice. (What a blessing it is to have who to turn to.) He asked if I enjoyed nursing.
We told him that I do.
“So why stop now? When it’s the best for both me and our son?” He mentioned that Sarah Imeinu nursed Issac until he was two, so did Chana with Shmuel.
We asked, “And what about how long it took us to have our first child? Maybe that should be the determining factor? What if next time it would take us even longer? What if, what if, what if…”
As though we actually thought (and now we know and understand thanks to the University of Life Experience that this is NEVER the case) that in was somehow in our hands.
He then told us something that changed my life and my way of thinking forever. “Hashem gave you one. Trust that He can give you another. If right now you have a son in your hands, do what is best for him and you right now, in this moment.”
Now what do you think here changed my life?
Knowing that if He gave me one, He can surely give me another?
Knowing that if He gave me breath, life today and in the past,
He can continue to give me life in the future?
Knowing that if Hashem gave me livelihood in the past, He can, even when I don’t know how, find a way, an infinite about of ways, of providing me with a livelihood in the future.
Knowing that if I paid for one simcha, He will provide me with what I need to make another?
Knowing that if I felt happy before, He will, with connection, enable me to feel happiness once again?
Did this change my life? This way of thinking? Yes, it did. Because whenever the fear or anxiety or worry creeps up I tell myself, “Tap into that G-d can do what He in his kindness and greatness has always done for you! Trust in Him as He has done for you so He can and bezrat Hashem will continue to do in the future.
But even more than that what really changed my thinking in that it directed me to focus not in the future, but to the present, today. Do what is best for you and your son right now, in this moment. Ahhh, trust is being in the present. Trust (bitachon) is being totally and fully dependent on Hashem and knowing that He has an infinite amount of ways of making things happen for me in the future, but more than that, He wants me to be in the moment, to stay in the moment, with Him today.
Speak to the children of Israel and you shall say to them: When you come to the land that I am giving you, the land shall rest a Sabbath to the Lord. You may sow your field for six years, and for six years you may prune your vineyard, and gather in its produce, But in the seventh year, the land shall have a complete rest a Sabbath to the Lord; you shall not sow your field, nor shall you prune your vineyard…. And if you should say, "What will we eat in the seventh year? We will not sow, and we will not gather in our produce!" [Know then, that] I will command My blessing for you in the sixth year, and it will yield produce for three years. And you will sow in the eighth year, while [still] eating from the old crops until the ninth year; until the arrival of its crop, you will eat the old [crop] (Vayikra 25: 2-22).
I guess that it’s a normal question, no? That normal human beings ask. “What will happen tomorrow? What will be if I don’t do…?” How will I have food tomorrow?
But here is the test and here is the parsha of bitachon, of Trust. In what? In today. In just being in the moment. In knowing that Hashem can do anything and everything and in so many, many ways….
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Another aspect of bitachon that I want to share with you. One, that I love and I think so will you…is that you don’t have to be a scholar or have a degree or come from an important family to have it.
You don’t have to learn about it, take a course on it, learn a specific “method” of having it.
You just have to do it
I know what you are going to say, “Just???!!!”
Yes, “just.”
In this week’s parsha we learn about Trusting in Hashem. How? From whom? From the “simple” farmer.
You, the “simple” farmer needs to trust in Hashem to provide for you all that you need, for today, and even without doing anything He tells you that He will also provide for tomorrow.
Do you know what the Sages calls those who kept the sabbatical year? Which isn’t a test of a day or a week or a month, but an entire year? They are called are “mighty” men who show the highest level of Trust in Hashem. The highest level, like angels.
So let me tell you something my dear sister, my friend, YOU have the strength and the power within to be a great woman of Trust. You don’t have to be a great scholar or have a PhD in Trust. You don’t have to be immersed in any book or go to any one conference or talk.
You can be a simple person, who yes, must work day in and day out and tell herself as I tell myself, “Trust in Hashem”. You need to talk to yourself and connect to yourself, your body, the land under your feet, your soul and of course you need to connect to Hashem.
It is hard work and it is one day at a time that takes constant effort and constant toil. But I know, without a doubt, that you can do it. ANYONE no matter how big or small, how educated or how not can do it.
So let’s close our eyes for a moment and take a deep breath.
Put yourself in the present and feel the breath in your belly and in your chest.
I want you to connect to one area in your life that you see clearly how Hashem is taking care of you or how He took care of you in the past and I want you to breath that area, that memory into your entire body.
Think about it. Now open your eyes and write it down. Look at it and hold onto it.
Take a deep breath as you let go of every tense muscle in your entire body. Say, “Hashem help me to put my Trust in You!”
Trust in Him, you can. I can. Anyone can.
May we all merit to reach a higher level of bitachon-Trusting in Hashem; of being in the present and of feeling the serenity that comes with bitachon
Shabbat Shalom,
Elana
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