HOLD ON & Let Go-Self Care & Chizuk
Survival mode. We are all in survival mode. Which means so many things right now in our home are being handled by taking a deep breath and thinking the thought, “Let it go,” rather than giving an order or a stern look and a no. I am surviving, you are surviving, they’re surviving. And really, Baruch Hashem.
I keep telling myself, “You are doing great. Hold on. Bezrat Hashem.”
Yes, tell yourself, “You are doing great. Hold on. Bezrat Hashem.”
What exactly are we holding onto? The moment, the minute, hope, our faith.
I am not holding onto tomorrow because I don’t know what tomorrow will be, so I hold on to now, to this moment. It will pass, like a wave that goes up and that goes down.
Meaning that surviving is on the one hand letting go and on the other hand holding on.
The Gemara in Yevamot (121a) brings a story with Rabbi Akiva. There it tells how Rabban Gamliel was once traveling on a ship in the sea when he saw another ship wrecked. His heart sank and he grieved for the passengers of the ship, especially one-the great Rabbi Akiva.
When Rabban Gamliel reached shore he went to the beis medresh to learn. Suddenly he saw Rabbi Akiva, alive! When Rabban Gamliel asked how it was that he survived from drowning in the raging sea Rabbi Akiva replied:
"A daf (plank) from the ship came my way and I clung to it. When each wave came surging towards me I bowed my head and let it pass over me."
Survival mode. Not life, but just now when we are in the raging sea of uncertainty, of the unknown, of a lack of routine or the lack of familiarity to the world that he know. What must we do? Well, we have no choice right now, but to let go to the wrecked ship of having to know our destination and navigating in control and just bow our heads in humility. And we need to HOLD ON.
To what? To Hashem, to our faith, to the moment. Hold on to anything right now that will give you a burst of energy, of happiness, of inspiration. Hold on to that plank which Hashem is sending you and wait for the wave to pass over you.
In this week’s parsha, Tzav, it is written
Command Aaron and his sons, saying, This is the law of the burnt offering: That is the burnt offering which burns on the altar all night until morning, and the fire of the altar shall be kept aflame on it (Vayikra 6:2).
Ramban brings that from here we see there is a positive commandment for the Kohanim to place enough wood on the fire to keep it burning at all times, including the entire night.
Right now I am in a situation where I am in a 24 hours 7 day of the week giving mode. There is a flame that I need to keep burning all night all day. It’s not just the flame that is in giving to my family physically, emotionally, mentally-I need to keep a flame inside of me constantly lit-of faith and hope so that I myself won’t go under or be drowned emotionally or mentally.
What can I do right now to keep it aflame? What can you?
Exercise, move. I’m still exercising and moving around. So, can you. Find even ten minutes, a bit of space, jump around - it doesn’t have to be graceful or professional, but move.
Go to a room or a corner and sit and relax all your muscles and breath, or read. Disconnect from all devices. Close your eyes and imagine you are where you want to be.
Smell something wonderful.
Touch something soft or soothing.
Listen to something inspirational or calming.
Use your five senses to connect to yourself, to connect to Hashem, to find inner peace. Let go and hold on to the moment of Hashem surrounding you and anchor yourself in this raging sea.
Shabbat Shalom,
With blessings,
Elana