OPPS!

One, two, three. Isn’t that the order that we think everything in life should go by? One and then two and then three. Meaning this has to happen and then that. Meaning I have a pattern in my life to my life and that’s just the way it is, or should be.

But then something happens. The little one gets married first and the who married the shortest has their first baby. There appears to be a line, but they call out the name of the patient who arrived last first. That one got a promotion, but they haven’t worked there the longest.

You grow up and you see that life isn’t a list of numbers or a pattern.

Why?

Maybe because who is to say that waiting isn’t its own blessing (and not just challenge)?

Maybe it wasn’t the right time or right person.

Maybe that door closed to you so that the other one could open?

Maybe if everything came one, two, and then three, we would feel desperate, hopeless- when we happened to be the number at the end of the line. Or we wouldn’t put in as much effort, wouldn’t be driven with desire, if we happened to be number one or the first?

But Israel stretched out his right hand and placed [it] on Ephraim's head, although he was the younger, and his left hand [he placed] on Manasseh's head. He guided his hands deliberately, for Manasseh was the firstborn…Joseph said to his father, "Not so, Father, for this one is the firstborn; put your right hand on his head." But his father refused, and he said, "I know, my son, I know; he too will become a people, and he too will be great. But his younger brother will be greater than he, and his children['s fame] will fill the nations." So he blessed them on that day, saying, "With you, Israel will bless, saying, 'May God make you like Ephraim and like Manasseh,' " and he placed Ephraim before Manasseh (Beresheit 48:14-20).

So what does this leave us with? Don’t make calculations, just try your best to do your best. We don’t know where there is more blessing, first or second or even when you are the last one in line. Each number, each one, has their place and their blessing. The spot where you stand and the number you have, it’s for a reason.

***

This week I made a mistake. I won’t get into the details but I grabbed a dairy spoon by mistake and mixed a big pot of pasta with meat sauce.

There was that split second when I looked at the spoon, which I had used a mere hour before for diary, and the huge pot of what was going to be our pre-fast dinner, and frustrated and self-annoyed wanted to close my eyes and pretend that the whole thing didn’t happen. But it did. What to do? Part of me wanted to throw everything out (no one was home) and remain ignorant in order to avoid having to ask any questions-who wants to tell anyone that you made a mistake? The other part of me said something similar, but with a different twist, “Oh, no what if I ask and have to throw everything out! There goes our dinner!”

The second was over and I quickly picked up the phone. The teachings of King Solomon in my mind.

“Let the wise man hear and increase learning. The understanding man shall acquire wise counsels…The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and discipline (Proverbs 1: 5; 7)”

At first, I called my husband who would either know what to do or find out for me, no answer.

I called my Rabbi. He was patient, gracious, and kind.

He told me what needed to be done (and not done) and I learned a huge lesson that night.

There is a huge blessing in making mistakes. The blessing is,

“This is how one learns and grows in the process called LIFE! This is how we can become better people (Take any situation, not just about making dinner😊).”

We just saw that Jacob blessed his younger grandson with his right hand and that the older doesn’t always go first. So why when it came to his sons, weren’t the greater sons-Yehudah and Yosef blessed first? Why did he start with Reuben, Shimeon and Levy?

Maybe because they made mistakes. They acted without thinking of the consequences. They calculated wrong or acted out of passion and with their own erroneous calculations. Yes, maybe their error was actually the potential for a source of blessing. Because in doing something wrong we have the opportunity to learn and grow and be even better than if we did everything “right”.

And look what became of them. Reuben reached great heights as a master of repentance and was instrumental in saving his brother, Yosef’s life. The tribe of Levy, with their steadfast loyalty to Hashem, merited to be the priestly tribe.

-Wow, it’s getting late. I must run.

A beautiful, peaceful Shabbes with blessings from Jerusalem. May we merit to receive all the blessings in the world at the right time. May we learn and grow and ask questions and may our mistakes be catalysts for growth.

Shabbat Shalom,

Elana