Tell me HOW? Tell me WHY?

It came up in three different times this week and so I thought, “Maybe I should write about it?”

The first a birth of the beautiful baby girl that I attended. The mother, when I met her, radiant and full of light. I could tell that this was a special soul and I knew that she must be carrying a special blessing inside of her belly-which she was.

A woman, who by nature, and after meeting her mother, I’m sure by nurture, was one of those “natural” minded woman.

Naturally minded, but it seemed like after hearing all the tests and trials that she went through, nothing came quite so naturally or I should say easy.

Date after date until at last she met her husband who was the most “unnatural”, but so natural and perfect match. Then came one years, two years, a few more. Of course, she naturally wanted to conceive and naturally did they try.

At last the blessing came “disguised” in a for her, for anyone, very unnatural treatment. But with a growing belly she was able to put the “how” aside.

Now the birth. The one we planned, but I told her the only

plan was no plan when it comes to anything, but especially birthing babies. Just go with the flow and let’s take it one step at a time. That wasn’t a hard request for her totally naturally easy-going nature.

When she started to bleed I wanted to cry. “Hashem, can’t you just give them a break? Why can’t anything go easy? To

pass one test and have another one waiting right after?”

The labor, let’s just say wasn’t what we expected. No, don’t misunderstand me. She, she labored beautifully, with such good spirits she took each curve ball thrown at her in stride. It just was very very different than wanted- like being induced in a hospital when you wanted to labor at home naturally and like running a fever.

At the end of a long journey with twists and turns there was another surprise. I won’t keep you in suspense. Thank God, a miracle happened. Okay, every birth is a miracle, but some are more revealed and some are more disguised. The baby was born and both she and Mommy, healthy.

Now she’s holding her baby in her arms. Such a blessing. So really, what does it matter?

What does what matter?

The how. Why does the how matter?

I still ask myself this question.

There must be something in the how that explains so much of life’s “why”.

A call last night from a mother wanting to know if I can help her daughter. I deal with the daughter’s medical condition all the time. My response, “I don’t know. All I can tell you what I do and how I would approach the situation. If it works or not, it’s not in my hands. For some it does and for others it doesn’t.”

She then asked me about other methods. Which is funny, no? I asked myself, “Does she want me to bad-mouth other techniques and say that mine is better?” I won’t. It’s not. What guarantee is she looking for? A guarantee, I can’t give her.

If I do one thing, it’s because I do believe in it as method with a potential to being a way to help people, but there are so many ways that Hashem sends salvation. So many ways healing is wrapped up and disguised.

We get so caught up on the “how”. That it should be one certain way, can’t be another. But don’t you see that the how is just to teach us that everything we do does, and yet it doesn’t matter.

So confusing??!!!

Hmm, maybe the how is to humble us and to remind us that no matter how something comes, it’s all coming from Hashem. Maybe the how is to teach us that “hows” are channels of blessing wrapped up in disguise.

And the last example, similar to the first, but opposite. The one who only believed in conventional methods and tried and tried and tried. And then much to her surprise, a “natural” approached worked and this morning I received good news.

And yes we see in this week’s parshah that Yaacov put on a costume to receive his father’s blessing, which is really Hashem’s, bracha. This parsha is so confusing. But maybe all that happened to me this week, the week of the parsha when Rivka waited so long to become pregnant and the pregnancy was not like she expected. The parsha where Rivka told her son to do something so very against his nature. The parsha where Yaakov received the blessing that had to come, not in the way he would have wanted or imagined. Maybe from this parsha and certainly from life we see that the “how” is merely a disguise.

A person puts on a costume and know that yes, this is what we are asked to do and there is a reason why we have to do it. But the blessing comes because Hashem wills it and, on His time, He can make it happen, even in the way that is the least expected or apparent.

Much BLESSING and LIGHT in this beautiful month of Kislev, a month of miracles and salvation for all.

Chodesh tov and Shabbat shalom,

Elana