It's Good for YOU

She thinks that if she is nice, he’ll be nice. If she smiles, they will smile back. All she has to do is work on herself to be in a good mood and then of course everyone will be in a good mood.

She says, “I will put in my effort and then I will see results.”

She builds for them. She works for him. She puts in effort for her.

And sometimes it does seem to work. The smile is reflected and so is the kind act.

And sometimes it doesn’t. She makes their favorite food and they complain about it. She remains calm and he continues to be hysterical. She acts nicely and in return the other one acts despicably.

Wow is she disappointed. She wants to give up.

Really, why should she continue? Who is she doing this for anyways if she has no control over what will happen or how her hard work is received (perceived)?

Make for yourself an ark of gopher wood; you shall make the

ark with compartments, and you shall caulk it both inside and outside with pitch (Bereishit 6:14).

Make for yourself an ark: Many ways to bring relief and rescue are available to Him; why, then, did He burden him with this construction? In order that the people of the Generation of the Flood should see him occupying himself with it for one hundred twenty years and ask him, “For what do you need this?” And he would say to them, “The Holy One, blessed be He, is destined to bring a flood upon the world.”

Perhaps they would repent. - [Aggadath Bereishith 1:2, Tan. Noach 5, Tan. Buber Bereishith 37, Gen. Rabbah 30:7]-Rashi

We see that what one does, should in theory affect those around you. Yes, be positive and you will, G-d willing, most likely see an influence of positivity. For sure when you are kind, calm, and caring you attract that energy, but it certainly isn’t a guarantee. With life experience we see that this is not the reality.

NO ONE asked Noach, “Hey what are you doing?” No one reflected or stopped the bad of what they were doing.

One can read all the right books and attend all the right classes. You can have all the correct theory, and the best of intentions, but man is given a choice. The other’s choice is not for you to choose. And choice is not just “theory”. It’s a test. Each one must choose how they will act, react, behave in each and every circumstance and situation. Sometimes the choices are harder and sometimes they are easier, but as long as one has dat-knowledge (a certain level of intelligence) they and they alone can choose.

So where am I holding? Why must one “build” an ark of salvation? A home for compassion, kindness, safety? Why should one want to do good? Why should one act in a way that would make people want to be like them, admire them?

Why must one do what they are really supposed to do?

Ahh, because it is for you!!!

Make for yourself…

That’s right, it’s for you.

This has been one of my greatest lessons.

I must be kind. I must have compassion. I must be cheerful and smile and be happy. I need to work on myself- my insecurities, my human weaknesses, and know my boundaries and limitations. I must be a good wife, mother, daughter, sister, neighbor, friend, employee or employer not for them, but for ME. Because this is what I am here to do.

This is what God wants from me. To be the best that I can be and do the best that I can do.

Oh, so I am doing this not so that I will get what I want? I am doing this because it is good for me?

YES!

Wow.

When I learned this, it changed my life. It changed me.

Blessings for a beautiful Shabbes. May the rains come in their proper times and may we see goodness and bounty.

Elana