Psalm of Gratitude
Ruthie phoned me about a month ago. Did I remember her? The “elderly lady” sitting at my right when I gave a talk to the “Golden Age Club”. Did Ruthie remember that I sat in the front middle and that ten elderly ladies were to my right and about ten to my life? Ruthie, at that particular talk, was one of my youngest listeners. She’s eight-five. Ruthie reminded me in her lovely British accent that she was born in Germany…Yes, that rang a bell. I could picture who told me that. Yes, I remembered Ruthie.
Ruthie wanted me to make an appointment for a massage and to learn more about self-care. Could I come? Could I do that? “Yes,” I told. Our appointment was written on the calendar for this past Wednesday.
Seeing Ruthie’s gorgeous smile and listening to her sweet voice ring out with blessings as she opened the door made me smile in return.
The session, as I worked on her body, was full of Ruthie’s life stories. What a life Ruthie has had. What a life Ruthie has. A woman born in pre-war Germany. The story of her escape to England. Her birth stories and the story of her beloved husband’s disease. Stories speckled with smiles and blessings. She kept telling me, “He was so good to me. Such a good man. So good to everyone. I’m waiting for mashiach to come and give me back my wonderful husband as he used to be.”
Ruthie asked me, “Do you say Mizmor l’Todah (The Pslam of Gratitude.)? I say it numerous times throughout the day. I lose something, I say it. I find it, I say it. I say it all day long…
I finished working on her body and showed Ruthie exercises to do to help with circulation. How to massage her own hands and belly. She gave me a big hug and kiss. I left saying Mizmor l’Todah, grateful that Hashem puts such inspiring people in my life. What a beautiful, joyful woman, like her I want to be.
The next morning, yesterday, I went on my morning jog and like in a comedy I slipped on garbage that was left on the sidewalk.
Wow that hurt. My knees and elbow were badly bruised and bleeding. Pain shot up and down my body. I took a deep breath, in so much pain, reminding myself to breath. A man saw me fall and came near. “You okay?”
In that moment I thought of Ruthie. Mizmor l’Todah. I said it and thanked Hashem for sending somehow to ask me how I am. Just having him notice and stop in the middle of his phone call gave me strength to get up. I’m not kidding. Usually I jog so early that no one is around, but yesterday I came home later and like everything in life it was Hashgacha Pratis (Divine Providence).
Mizmor l’Todah. I didn’t need his help. I sat there for a few minutes, catching my breath. I got up. Mizmor l’Todah, I could walk.
Mizmor l’Todah I said as I entered my home, at the mess, at the noise, at the quiet. At the fighting and at the laughing. Yes, like Ruthie at eight-five, until one hundred do I aspire to be.
Through the pain and the challenges and the joy and the celebrations, I want to always be saying with my heart Mizmor l’Todah.
There are things that we see and things that we don’t see, but it all comes from the same Source.
Hear, O Israel: The Lord is our God; the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart and with all your soul, and with all your means (Devarim 6:4-5).
with all your heart: Heb. בְּכָל-לְבָבְךָ [The double “veth” in לְבָבְךָ, instead of the usual form לִבְּךָ, suggests:] Love Him with your two inclinations [the good and the evil]. (Sifrei; Ber. 54a) Another explanation; “with all your heart,” is that your heart should not be divided [i.e., at variance] with the Omnipresent (Sifrei).-Rashi
With all our “hearts”. This joy is from Him and this struggle is also from Him. It’s one. Wow, that’s intense. And the more we love Him and cleave to Him, like Ruthie with her sincere gorgeous smile on her face, the happier we feel. Mizmor l’Todah. May we merit not only to say it, but to really feel it.
May we merit to a see a complete and total Redemption and Ruthie’s husband back with all his vigor as he used to be.
Shabbat Shalom, With blessings,
Elana