Words of Kindness

She’s trying to be so careful now. Really working on watching what she says, how she says it. It’s the time of the year, right? When you are tested most, but also know that it’s what you most need to work on. Speaking kindly, respectfully, positively. Carefully she checks herself when she opens her mouth to say to…to say about...

It’s the time of the year when we are focused and reminded. “Build, build! If you don’t build, you are responsible for the destruction.” She walks ever so carefully, looking this way and that way thinking about the consequences. She makes mistakes, but at least she’s more aware and she tries.

However, something is missing from the recipe of careful speech and it’s not turning out right. Something is missing from the equation and it’s not adding up.

If a man makes a vow to the Lord or makes an oath to prohibit himself, he shall not violate his word; according to whatever came out of his mouth, he shall do (Bamidbar 30:3)

a vow: By saying, “It shall be prohibited just like a sacrifice, that I will not eat, or I will not do a certain thing.” One might think that even if he swears to eat carrion, I apply to him “according to whatever came out of his mouth, he shall do.” Scripture therefore states,“to prohibit”-to prohibit what is permitted, but not to permit what is prohibited. — [Sifrei Mattoth 7]

he shall not violate his word: Heb. לֹא יַחֵל דְּבָרוֹ, like לֹא יְחַלֵּל דְּבָרוֹ“he shall not profane his word,” he shall not treat his word as being unholy. — [Sifrei Mattoth 8]-Rashi

Ahh, so the something is you. Because you see the oath he made, it was for himself. The words he said didn’t affect anyone else except for himself. Meaning the words that we speak to others, of course it’s so obvious, no? That they must be words of kindness and compassion, words though- out and in a proper tone. But what about the words that we say to ourselves? The language that we speak to our own hearts, to our own souls?

It appears that these words have to be well thought-out too. These words have to be words of kindness and compassion as well. Because you see, “whatever came out of his mouth, he shall do.”

A big Shabbat Shalom, many blessings a few hours before we usher in Shabbes. May we be careful with our speech to and about others and with ourselves- may we speak with kindness, optimism and compassion too.

Elana