Do it for YOU!

She reads books and attends to classes. She hears stories and takes it all in. She reasons, because that is what they taught her, that if she does x, y, and z she’ll get 1, 2, and 3.

But something goes wrong.

She follows the formula and the results are not what she intended. The parenting classes told her to do this so they will act like that. The marriage classes instructed her if she only does this he’ll do that. Plug data into the computer and this is what will come out. Talk to a person like in this manner and you’ll see that this is how they will respond. She does it all with good intentions. If she’s happy, then they will be happy.

Right? If she’s strong and healthy, then they will be too.

Right? If she acts with kindness and compassion, so will they.

Right?

Hmmm. Not necessarily. Something went wrong. As much as she tried to do so that they will…so that it will…the results weren’t as expected.

What happened? What went wrong?

***

God said to Balaam, "You shall not go with them! You shall not curse the people because they are blessed (Bamidbar 22:12)."

God's wrath flared because he was going, and an angel of the Lord stationed himself on the road to thwart him, and he was riding on his she-donkey, and his two servants were with him

(ibid 22:22).

I have a question. If Hashem only helps a person on the path that they CHOOSE to go, why then does Hashem keep warning Balaam not to go?

For Israel? No, because no matter what Balaam tried to do, Israel is blessed. Then for who?

For Balaam.

***

So she should eat healthy and relax and get sleep and be patient and speak to him with respect for….for him? For the other one? She should be happy so that it will rub off on…

Yes, to a certain degree, but not exactly.

Don’t go! Don’t get yourself into trouble, not for them, but for YOU!

Eat healthy, for you. Take care of yourself, for you. Be kind and considerate and patient, for you! Work on yourself. For…for you! Yes, for you. Because you and I and everyone has their own personal mission and their own personal obligation to be the best that they can be. Hashem loves YOU and wants you to be good to yourself and work on yourself for YOU.

Will the positive be reflected? God willing, yes, hopefully. But not automatically. Which is a relief to know that neither will the negativity.

So what should we do? We take a good honest look inside and we ask, “Is this good for me? For my soul? My mental, emotional, physical health? Is this what Hashem wants from me?

Such hard work but may we merit to do and be blessed with clarity.

Shabbat Shalom, Many blessings,

Elana