Nature vs Nurture???
Nature versus Nurture.
She asks the question over and over again. Why? Because she wants to know. Why is he like this? Why is she like this?
Why am I like this?
Hmmm.
It’s a valid question, no?
Hmmm.
Does it really matter?
Yes and no.
You go throughout your life and you struggle and you have to deal with this matter and this matter. You want to get to the source of it all. You dig and you dig further.
You ask yourself, “Is this because of nature or is this because of nurture?” Is it because of my family? My genes? My past? Is it because of the way that I was raised? My culture? My peers? My neighbors?
An answer not based on research or an in-depth study. An answer based on experience and a hunch…
It’s not one versus the other. It’s both.
There are certain things that we can’t change because it’s who we are. We were born this way, we grew up this way, our past is now past. You don’t like that you’re short? What can I tell you? You are not going to grow taller. You don’t like that you’re tall? What can I say? You’re not going to shrink shorter. No need to blame everything on it or run away from it. Really, you can’t escape it. Maybe the thing to do is actually embrace it. Acknowledge it, accept it. This is who I am. It’s part of my identity, a symbol on my flag.
Then we go a bit further and we see. This person is nervous and she’s anxious and we know it comes from x, y, and z. We take her, with all her nervous genes, all that she went through and had to overcome from her childhood. We take her and we give her tools and love and support. We give her a good night’s sleep and some healthy food. Will it affect her? Will it make a difference in her life? Yes, it certainly can, it certainly might. Because we human beings, we are not just driven by nature.
We see in the holy Torah how we traveled in the Wilderness. Four groups of three tribes and the tribe of Levy with the holy Tabernacle in the middle.
Each person went along with their father’s tribe, but they also went accompanied by two neighboring tribes. Rashi teaches us, “Woe to the evil one, woe to his neighbor.” From here we see that nurture definitely matters.
Nature, nurture. Is it versus No it’s both.
What to do with it all?
We accept, we embrace our nature. We accentuate the good, accept that we’re human. We’re complex. And even the so called “bad” is a part of our growth, of who we are. Then we surround ourselves with nurturing nurture. We encamp. We move on and go forward.
May we use both nature and nurture to grow.
Some thoughts and ideas as we start a new sefer, a new book, Bamidbar-Numbers.
Shabbat Shalom!
With blessings,
Elana