PEACE
It’s hard for her. To throw it out, to give it away. She’s needs the space. She wants the space, but how can she part with…the dream, the idea of…, this, this thing?
She looks through her closets. That skirt, it’s too old, too tight, too “old-fashioned.” She loves that skirt though. She remembers when she first got it and how it made her feel.
She looks through their closets. The baby clothes and the baby dresses. That’s it? This stage of life passed? What if this parting is a goodbye to all that?
How can she clear it away when you never know…maybe one day, she might need it again?
She won’t allow herself to enjoy it. She won’t allow them to use it in any way. She’s afraid that if she gives, she’ll never get it back. She’s afraid that if they use it today, they’ll never have another one like it. So, she waits and she sits and the item is left untouched.
You will eat very old [produce], and you will clear out the old from before the new (Vayikra 26:10).
She tells herself there’s blessing in keeping it all and holding on to what there was, but she doesn’t realize that by clearing out the old, she’s making room for the new. Her fears to move on hold her back.
I’m not saying that it’s easy, to have the faith that Hashem gave me this when I needed it and if I need to again, He can provide once more. But it’s a freeing thought, no? To find the blessing in being able to give away, throw away, make use of what we have. To have faith and tranquility in knowing that Hashem will provide. I don’t have to save everything for a rainy day.
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It's one of those moments. Moments of tranquility when she’s sitting there with a sense of peace. It’s Shabbat. She’s disconnected from her telephone, from her work, from the laundry and the mess. She’s alone or she’s with her children or with her husband or a friend.
There’s nothing that needs to get done. She’s just sitting there. In a rare moment where she knows that she’s at the place where she is supposed to be. She’s with whom she’s supposed to be with. Doing what she is supposed to being doing. Which is nothing, but everything.
Blessed tranquility. Blessed peace.
Not pulled in a million directions, just sitting there focused, feeling blessed and confident in her tafkeed (role). What a wonderful feeling. She understands now why peace is the greatest blessing.
And I will grant peace in the Land, and you will lie down with no one to frighten [you]; I will remove wild beasts from the Land, and no army will pass through your land (ibid 26:6);
And I will grant peace: You might say, “Here is food, and here is drink, but if there is no peace, there is nothing!” Scripture, therefore, states, after all this [blessing], “I will grant peace in the Land.” From here, [we learn] that peace is equal to everything else. And so, [this is illustrated in our morning prayers,] when we say: “[Blessed are You, O Lord…] Who… makes peace and creates everything” [a paraphrase of the verse] (Isaiah 45:7). - [see Ber. 11b; Torath Kohanim 26:7]-Rashi
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“Is it worth it?”
She asks herself this question. Puts the dilemma on a scale.
She asks herself is it worth it? The price to be always right?
Is it worth it? The price of her way or no way?
Is this worth her shalom bayit (peace in the home)?
Is it worth her restlessness? Being torn is so many directions?
Is it worth it? Because we see that the biggest blessing of all is living with tranquility. Inner peace, outer peace, peace is equal to it all.
She asks herself before she opens her mouth, before she goes out to battle. Is it worth it? Is it worth the price?
And I will grant peace: You might say, “Here is food, and here is drink, but if there is no peace, there is nothing!” Scripture, therefore, states, after all this [blessing], “I will grant peace in the Land.” From here, [we learn] that peace is equal to everything else. And so, [this is illustrated in our morning prayers,] when we say: “[Blessed are You, O Lord…] Who… makes peace and creates everything” [a paraphrase of the verse] (Isaiah 45:7). - [see Ber. 11b; Torath Kohanim 26:7]-Rashi
***
It’s so peaceful right now. Maybe because I’m the only one home (and the baby is sleeping)!!!
Everyone else is out there dancing around the lag b’omer bonfire, dancing and singing. And I’m at home alone…sitting here doing nothing. Feeling blessed in my role.
May we merit to see all the blessings that will G-d willing come. To sit in peace and take pleasure in the new as we clear out the old.
Shabbat Shalom,
With blessings,
Elana