You Choose!

I could totally relate. I think that maybe you could too? A woman came to me last night with what she felt like was a broken body and what I saw was a broken spirit. She moaned, “I’m tired and tight from head to toe.” She told me that she felt like a slave-with what she perceived from her family were high expectations and not enough appreciation. I’m telling you, I could totally relate! At times, like these past few weeks where I’m so exhausted-mentally, physically, maybe even spiritually???!!! that for sure I feel like that too.

There’s something that I tell myself that snaps me out of my dark mood. I told it to her and I am going to tell it to you too.

You’re not a slave, because you have a choice. You see a slave has no choice in the matter. Your master tells you what to do and you must do it. You, as hard as it is and as exhausting as it is, you have a choice. With choice you are not a slave, but a paid worker.

“Elana, you’re choosing this.”

Meaning I’m choosing to say yes and not no. I’m choosing to stay put and not run away. I’m choosing to do millions of acts of kindness. It’s a choice if I want to work or to cook or to clean. Or I can choose not to. You might say, “No, I have to…”. I disagree. You are choosing to. Like I have a choice not to snap and yell. I have a choice to walk away and drink a cup of water. I have a choice to say, “I can’t. I want to and I wish I could, but not now.” Or I can push myself and it’s a choice.

When you realize that yes, this is a choice…you feel so different and the heaviness of life feels lighter.

And so we see from this week’s Torah portion that we have an obligation to pay a hired worker:

The hired worker's wage shall not remain with you overnight until morning (Vayikra 19:13).

Why? Because a worker that isn’t paid isn’t a worker, he’s a slave.

And what am I doing here in this world? What am I doing as a wife, a mother, a daughter, a community member (i.e. your family is your community too!)….I’m working for G-d. I’m taking care of His children.

Can you imagine the reward?

Those who work for the community should do so for the sake of Heaven; for then merit of their ancestors shall aid them, and their righteousness shall endure forever. And you, [says G‑d,] I shall credit you with great reward as if you have achieved it ( Pirkei Avot-Ethics of Our Fathers 2:2)

He would also say: It is not incumbent upon you to finish the task, but neither are you free to absolve yourself from it. If you have learned much Torah, you will be greatly rewarded, and your Employer is trustworthy to pay you the reward of your labors. And know, that the reward of the righteous is in the World to Come (ibid 2:16).

And so today. Everyday this week in fact I kept telling myself over and over, “Elana, you have a choice!”

I’m not a slave, but a very important hired worker. And great will be the reward.

Just stay focused and do at least one thing a day that gives you pleasure. Pray to Hashem to help you and He will.

Many blessings and much koach (strength),

Shabbat Shalom,

Elana