Labels, stigmas and names. Oh my! Why??
“I’m terrible,” she cries as she thinks of all the things that she’s done wrong, all the mistakes. She labels herself as no good, as a failure. “I just can’t do anything right.”
Labels, stigmas, and names. Oh my!
Why?
She looks in the mirror and sighs. She focuses on that one undesired feature. She declares, “I’m so ugly”…“fat” or “old”.
Labels, stigmas, and names. Oh my!
Why?
She concentrates on what goes wrong, what’s missing, on all those flaws. For her that becomes the essence of it all, the entire picture.
Labels, stigmas, and names. Oh my!
Why?
Okay, yes, we can admit it. Her home, it’s far from perfect and neither is she. There is what to work on and she needs help to do so. You know what? And so does he and so does she and so does he…but why the labels and all those definitive names? Why the stigmas and calling bad names? Why do we tend to cause ourselves so much pain and feel so much shame?
When you come to the land of Canaan, which I am giving you as a possession, and I place a lesion of tzara'ath upon a house in the land of your possession, and the one to whom the house belongs comes and tells the kohen, saying, "Something like a lesion has appeared to me in the house…(Vayikra 14:34-35),"
You see we are not supposed to walk around blind and pretend that everything is perfect. Yes, we have to admit that we make mistakes and God willing learn from them, but they don’t define who we are or who she is or who he is or what our homes are. The Torah comes to make a point and tells you to say, “something like” and not in a conclusive, negative tone.
That means we don’t label ourselves or our family or friends or our homes (or anyone for that matter) in absolute negative terms because those labels stick and then find that we can’t break free from them….
***
I wanted to write more and delve into another subject matter, but now is not the time.
So I am blessing you all with a beautiful Chag Kasher v’Sameach.
Remember to stay focused and keep your eye on the goal.
Challenges, big and small, arise and they try to take you from seeing the good and being positive. Pat yourself on the back and do the best that you can; know that the results and outcomes are anyways not in your hands.
Shabbat shalom and good yom!
Many blessings,
Elana