The Key to Peace
Acceptance.
It’s one of the hardest things for us to do, isn’t it?
“How can I accept him?”
“How can I accept her?”
“How can I accept that this happened?”
“How can I accept that I have no control of neither their actions nor the outcome?”
She goes over and over in her mind how she can change…him, her, it. She questions and asks and wonders.
How can she accept that this might be something that she will live with for the rest of her life?
How can she accept that this person is a part of her? A part of who she is; a part of her history, her life?
She wants to run away. She wants to hide. But is that the answer? Will running bring her peace of mind or if she runs will it just follow her?
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How can she accept that this is her body? How can she accept that this is her age? Is that stage really over?
How can she accept that she’s not perfect?
She has so much to do, or so her expectations make her think and she can’t do it all. How can she accept that she has limitations?
How can she accept that this is so hard when she thought it would be, that it should be easy?
How can she accept that she has no control?
If there are so many expectations, how can one accept?
How can one?
And Aaron's sons, Nadab and Abihu, each took his pan, put fire in them, and placed incense upon it, and they brought before the Lord foreign fire, which He had not commanded them. And fire went forth from before the Lord and consumed them, and they died before the Lord. Then Moses said to Aaron, "This is what the Lord spoke, [when He said], 'I will be sanctified through those near to Me, and before all the people I will be glorified.' " And Aaron was silent (Vayikra 10:1-3)
And Aaron was silent: [and did not complain. Consequently,] he was rewarded for his silence. And what reward did he receive? That God addressed him exclusively in the [ensuing] passage regarding those who drink wine [as verse 8 says, “And the Lord spoke to Aaron, saying…”]. — [Vayikra Rabbah 12:2]- Rashi
Aaron, oh Aaron. Oh, to all the Aarons of the world and to all their sons….
Yes, Aaron you had two sons and they did something that they shouldn’t have done and they paid a very high price for it. So, did you.
Aaron. Oh Aaron, and oh to all the Aarons of the world and to all their sons.
Aaron, did you run away from them? Did you run away from yourself? No, you stayed. You accepted them in their entirety, in their “humanness” How do I know? Because it says, “Aaron’s sons…” Not just Nadab and Abihu, but Aaron’s sons. Meaning no matter what they chose to do, and as painful as the outcome was, they were and are always your sons.
Aaron, oh Aaron. Oh, to all the Aarons of the world and to all their sons.
You stayed silent and did not complain. You accepted.
Is that why our Sages tell us (Pirke Avot 1:12) to be like Aaron, who loved peace and pursed it. You see because the way to purse peace and to demonstrate that you want it, love it, is by… acceptance.
Meaning you can’t love yourself if you can’t accept yourself.
You can’t love another person if you can’t accept them.
You can’t find peace within yourself if you don’t accept yourself.
You can’t be at peace with anyone else if you don’t fully accept them.
Yes, the key to peace is acceptance. No strings attached.
No expectations dependent on outcomes. Why? Because outcomes are never in our control. Only acceptance is…and it’s so hard and yet so worth the reward.
And so yes, if there are so many expectations, how can one accept?
How can one? They can’t. That is, they can’t if they also want peace.
And so she learns the art of silence and even not to complain. With a heart full of love she accepts and she gains.
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May we merit to come a place of peace and acceptance.
Within ourselves and amongst ourselves.
Shabbat Shalom,
With blessings,
Elana