Powerless?
She’s going through such a hard time right now and doesn’t know if she’s going to make it. On the outside it looks like everything is smooth. No one knows the rugged rocks and jagged stones that exist in her life.
She’s petrified. She’s not ready for this…change...birth…move…stage in life. She’s not ready for this unknown. She feels like it’s simply too much for her to manage.
She got what she prayed for, but she didn’t know that after waiting so long it would be so hard and so difficult.
Living with the man she dreamed to marry is more complicated than she imagined.
These children, they feel like more than she can handle.
She’s not ready for this job, this role, this responsibility.
She’s used to quiet and lives with noise. Used to a clean home and lives in a mess. From where will she get the strength to deal with the differences?
She grew up in the city and now lives in a much too quiet, boring place.
She loves playing on the floor with kids and she finds herself alone.
She envisioned BIG she got small.
She feels like she’s hitting her head against a wall and not getting anywhere.
She looks around and she feels powerless.
Life just seems so unfair.
Why? Why all the challenges?
It came to pass when Pharaoh let the people go, that God did not lead them [by] way of the land of the Philistines for it was near, because God said, Lest the people reconsider when they see war and return to Egypt. (Shemot 13:17).
I read these verses again and again. God takes us on a longer road even when there is an easier, shorter road in sight. Why? Because we are not created to just “pass” a test and then return to be the same as we were before.
A woman cries out for help, “Take this test away from me! I just want to be who I was before, without all this heartache, without all this pain!”
I tell her, “With God’s help you will make it through this, but you will never be the same. Instead you will be so much greater, so much better!”
Yes, in life we are helpless. G-d takes us on a path and puts hurdles in the road for us to climb on top of and jump over. We are helpless in our lack of control, and must relinquish to the faith of “He knows which way is best,” BUT we are not powerless…
So God led the people around [by] way of the wilderness (desert) [to] the Red Sea, and the children of Israel were armed when they went up out of Egypt (ibid 13:18).
You see the Master of the Universe, He leads us this way and that. He leads us deep into the wilderness, but He never leaves us empty-handed (even though knowing He’s leading us should be enough). He always, always arms us.
That means you feel inadequate and powerless? You’re not.
You have the power to believe in Him and the power to ask for help.
You have the power to get up in the morning.
You were born into something and you say, “I’m following it because this is what I know and this is what we do.”
Don’t take that for granted. It’s a power of choice. There are those who choose to leave it and holding on to something also takes tremendous strength.
It takes power to walk out and power to stay put, when you make the decision out of choice and not because you feel powerless.
You’re not necessarily smarter from life’s tests, but you certainly are more experienced, and experience in itself is power.
There are those who don’t see that they have any power or arms and so they give up.
But you, you keep going? You wake up in the morning and do the best that you can? You fall and then you get up? I’m proud of you! Be proud of yourself. And know that G-d armed you for this journey and you mustn’t give up.
May we merit to see our “arms” and feel tranquility in not just knowing or intellectually believing, but really feeling Hashem’s guiding Hand. May we accept that we are helpless and lack control but trust He will never leave us powerless. May we know that we always have a choice and may we choose to grow!
Shabbat shalom,
With blessings and health,
Elana