How Can I Accept That???
Acceptance. It’s the theme of the week. Or maybe it’s the theme of life.
She wants to fix the problem, not accept it.
She wants to change him, not accept him.
She looks out the window and sees rain and wishes for sun. She feels stifling heat and tires of the dry weather. She wants it to rain.
She’s two weeks overdue and there’s pressure for induction. She doesn’t want to be in this situation, of unknown, of waiting, of vulnerability.
She can’t believe it. She has a baby. How could she be expecting another one, so soon, so early?
They don’t have…money…she continues to spend like they’re rich when they’re poor.
She did everything that she could and they’re unhappy. She thinks, “What else should I do?”
She’s tired. There’s an illness. She’s getting older. She fights it.
What does she fight? Is it reality?
And He said, "I am God, the God of your father. Do not be afraid of going down to Egypt, for there I will make you into a great nation (Bereishit 46:3).
Do not be afraid of going down to Egypt: [God encouraged him] because he was troubled at being compelled to leave the Holy Land.-Rashi
Jacob, he didn’t want to go. He didn’t want this new reality, a reality of moving and change. A reality of being in a location that was far from holy. He was scared. Why, then did he go? Because he accepted that this was G-d’s will and he made it his own. That it’s G-d who determines our reality.
So that means she’s single. Or that means she’s pregnant. Or that she’s not pregnant. And she takes it in stride and knows that this is out of her control and that’s okay. It means she accepts that the other person is in a bad mood and she can’t change it. She accepts the birth that didn’t go according to plan or the job didn’t turn out to be what she expected. She accepts this relative and that one for who they are (and no accepting a person doesn’t mean that you have to accept a deed or an action, but you accept their right to be who they are and how they feel). She accepts those neighbors are the ones living beside her or above her. Because this is where she is living and no, she can’t just pick up and move. She accepts his bad habits and annoyances as a part of him and doesn’t point them out to him anymore.
She accepts all the things that G-d gave her that she has no control over. And there are a lot.
She takes a deep breath and gasps in frustration. So much to accept! It feels disheartening to think that nothing will change.
But wait a minute. Can’t reality change?
Isn’t there hope? Can’t I still have my dreams? Wasn’t there more to why Jacob was willing to go down?
Yes!
I will go down with you to Egypt, and I will also bring you up, and Joseph will place his hand on your eyes (ibid 46:4).
Hope, dream and accept! It’s not a contradiction. Why? Because reality can change, in a minute. It can go from this to that. But Who changes it? Is it me? Is it you?
We can work on ourselves and grow. We can change that and by doing that it is at times a catalyst for changing our reality. But Who is the one ultimately in control of our reality? That’s right, it’s not me and it’s not you. It’s G-d.
At times He brings us down because that’s where He knows we need to be, in the present moment and in the next moment He lifts us up. That and that alone is reality.
So what do we do? We accept. We accept it all. We try to anyways. We let go and “go with the flow.” We put our trust and our faith in Hashem that He knows what’s best for us and at any given moment He can raise us, lift us up and change our reality.
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May we be blessed with power to accept and find blessing in acceptance.
Health and blessings from Jerusalem,
Shabbat Shalom,
Elana