What's the Point????
She tries to convince herself that it doesn’t matter. She’s so…overweight, out of shape, old…that she doesn’t see the point.
She’s stuck.
She’s imprisoned in an image of herself that she can’t break free. The outside reflects the inside and the inside reflects the out.
She’s depressed. She’s unhappy. She’s miserable.
She reaches for another piece of cake. She wants to disappear, but she can’t. She wants her worries and her fears to disappear, but they don’t. She wants, with sincere desire, to be grateful and happy, but she doesn’t know how. Doesn’t know where to start because she’s so far down in this hole.
So Pharaoh sent and called Joseph, and they rushed him from the dungeon, and he shaved and changed his clothes, and he [then] came to Pharaoh (Bereishit 41:14).
“You [Joseph] shall be [appointed] over my household, and through your command all my people shall be nourished; only [with] the throne will I be greater than you…And Pharaoh said to Joseph, "I am Pharaoh, and besides you, no one may lift his hand or his foot in the entire land of Egypt (ibid 41:41-44)."
The very first action done by Yosef to leave jail was to shave and change his cloths.
“Get dressed nicely,” I tell her.
“What’s the point if I’m not going out?”
“Drink more water and add more vegetables to your
meals,” I advise her.
“What’s the point if I eat rugelach for breakfast?”
“Walk around the block for ten minutes in the morning,” I instruct her.
“What’s the point if I sit eight hours at work every day?”
“Pray!” I urge her.
“What’s the point if I don’t feel sincere in what I say?”
There’s a point to it all. You start with something, anything, no matter how small or seemingly superficial, it will have an effect. You make a change on the outside, it will penetrate within and change you there as well.
***
Patience. I learn the art of patience when working with women. Women of all ages and stages in life. “Patience,” I tell myself as the eighty-year-old woman walks slowly, ever so slowly into my treatment room. It takes her a good twenty minutes to get her tights off and to get up on the bed.
She’s so beautiful with her words of kindness as she thanks me for taking her on such short notice. She’s in so much pain. She lifted something to heavy for her small frame and since then has been in tremendous pain. She feels pain shooting up and down her back and her legs.
I work carefully, ever so carefully with a gentle, soft touch.
She tells me, “You work so hard and are so kind to see me, but can’t you make the pain go away quicker? I know it’s all from Hashem and I accept it with love, but I’m in so much pain!”
I sigh with heaviness and frustration because I lack a magic wand to make pain and sadness and depression and loneliness immediately go away. I work cautiously with love to untighten her muscles and sooth the bruising.
The session finishes and she cries because she’s still in pain.
I ask of her, “Please give it time.”
An hour goes by and I check in on her. It’s a bit better.
Another few hours and she can now sit and walk when she couldn’t before.
I will check in on her tomorrow and I have a feeling that she’ll be better.
You see we want things to happen instantly and when we look back at them, they do. But life, healing, recovery, growing, is a process and it all takes time.
So Pharaoh sent and called Joseph, and they rushed him from the dungeon, and he shaved and changed his clothes, and he [then] came to Pharaoh (ibid 41:14).
Yes, Yosef was rushed out of jail and brought to Pharaoh which led to what appeared to be an immediate salvation. In one day, he went from being in the lowest of the depths of low to the highest of the high, only second to the king’s throne. But really the process wasn’t immediate. There were years in prison and as a slave that led up to his “instant” salvation.
And so too, it will, G-d willing, be with you. You find yourself in a process of pain and within that very process you are actually already starting the process of healing. Therefore, you must tell yourself, “Give time, time.” And know that when it comes in the end it will feel and be an immediate relief and salvation.
***
May the light of Shabbes Kodesh and Chanukah illuminate and heal our bodies and our souls. May we find the strength to take care of ourselves even when we don’t see the point. May each and everyone’s salvation and healing come and be felt immediately, in an instant.
Chodesh tov! Shabbat Shalom! Chanukah Sameach!
Elana