All you have to Fear is FEAR
The look is so familiar to me as is the tension in the body and face. It’s fear. It’s fear that leads to anxiety and stress. It’s fear that causes great distress.
It’s fear from a woman who is in her ninth month. I hear it and I see it and it doesn’t matter if the woman is pregnant with her first or pregnant with her tenth. She’s terrified. She’s afraid of the unknown and afraid of what she thinks
she knows.
What’s this fear for?
I see the fear each month when the bills pile up and there’s the rent or the mortgage to pay and they don’t know how they are going to pay it. Fear that leads to anxiety and stress. It’s fear of having and losing what you have and fear of not having at all.
Fear of not being able to make it or not being able to get by at all.
What’s this fear for?
There’s a fear of being hurt, of being attacked. There’s a fear of failure and with it comes the desire to want to give up. There’s a fear of being sick or feeling sick or getting sick. There’s fear.
Fear, stress, anxiety. It’s not logical or real. It’s a what if or a maybe. It’s something that could happen, but it could also not happen.
Why is there so much fear?
Jacob became very frightened and was distressed…
Fear comes from being human, even the greatest experience and live moments of fear. But what’s this fear for?
And Jacob said, "O God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac, the Lord, Who said to me, 'Return to your land and to your birthplace, and I will do good to you. 'I have become small from all the kindnesses and from all the truth that You have rendered Your servant, for with my staff I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two camps (Beresheit 32:8-11).
Yes, fear has a purpose. (I’m not speaking about instinct. This too, has a purpose-to protect us from danger. Here I’m talking about the emotion, the feeling of fear.) Fear can be, should be, used as a catalyst for prayer. Instead of allowing it to trap us in quick sand that brings us down, sinking us further and further into frozen despair, fear can bring us closer to Hashem.
Fear is not to paralyze us. Just the opposite, it’s to mobilize us. It’s to propel us forward and make us greater by making us understand that we are humbly and helplessly in need of Hashem.
***
Why? Why? Why? She asks over and over again.
Why does everything come with such tests and challenges? Why does everything come with such struggles and a fight?
She’s exhausted and wants to let go.
“NO! You must hold on.”
“Until when? “
“Forever if need be. Don’t give up. Struggle, fight, hold on.
Hold on until the blessing comes.”
And Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until the break of dawn. When he saw that he could not prevail against him, he touched the socket of his hip, and the socket of Jacob's hip became dislocated as he wrestled with him. And he (the angel) said, "Let me go, for dawn is breaking," but he (Jacob) said, "I will not let you go unless you have blessed me." So he said to him, "What is your name?" and he said, "Jacob." And he said, "Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, because you have commanding power with [an angel of] God and with men, and you have prevailed." And Jacob asked and said, "Now tell me your name," and he said, "Why is it that you ask for my name?" And he (ángel) blessed him (Jacob) there (ibid.32:25-30).
Hold on to your dream, to that child, to that idea. Hold on to your faith and know that one day, one day, you will see the light. The breaking of the dawn will come. The test will be over. You’ll see the blessing in your struggle. Just don’t let go, hold on.
***
May we merit to channel all our fears and worries into prayer and connection. May we be blessed with the faith, strength and the courage to hold on and to see the blessings in our struggles.
Blessings and Health from Yerushalayim,
Shabbat Shalom,
Elana