You are YOU
She looks at herself in the mirror and she gets scared. She sees something, and it reminds her of the past. It reminds her of someone else. Someone that she vowed she would never become.
She says a word, makes a gesture, acts a certain way and she gets scared. She sees something in it and it reminds her of the past. It reminds her of someone else. Someone that she vowed she would never become.
She sees something in that person and grips her heart in fear. Maybe they’ll be just like their…and follow in that person’s footsteps.
Maybe there’s no way to change? Maybe she’s stuck?
Maybe she’s no different than she was before? Maybe she follows, the one she ran away from, down the same path?
She stops herself for a minute. She can make a choice. She chooses to look at each moment as a new opportunity.
She is who she is now, not who she was before. She’s herself, not her mother or her sister or her grandmother.
She chooses to look at him for who he is and not equate him with that other.
No matter who she was before. No matter what she did before. No matter where she came from or who her family is…she can change. She can be different.
And Isaac was forty years old when he took Rebecca the daughter of Bethuel the Aramean of Padan Aram, the sister of Laban the Aramean, to himself for a wife (Beresheit 25:20).
the daughter of Bethuel the Aramean of Padan-Aram, the sister of Laban: Was it not already written that she was the daughter of Bethuel and the sister of Laban and from Padan-Aram? But this is to tell her praise, that she was the daughter of a wicked man and the sister of a wicked man and her place was [inhabited by] wicked people, but she did not learn from their deeds. [From Gen. Rabbah 63:4]
That’s right, she’s her own person or she’s a new person. She can change. No excuses in life. No looking for the culprit whom she can blame. We walk down the path we choose to walk down. Some have it harder, some have it easier. But it’s a choice, which path, a choice that is constantly put in front of you every single day.
***
He was born with a good head, he loves to learn, he easily gets straight A’s.
She’s easy-going and good-natured. She never gets into trouble and listens to what they say.
Everything he touches turns to gold. He’s a great provider, a hard worker.
She’s so organized and she loves to clean. She’s a baker or a chef and there’s always hot food on the table.
She looks at her with envy because to her it’s so much harder and to that other one it’s done with ease.
Wait a minute. Here too there’s a choice. Who says he’ll use his head to learn and not to deceive? Yes, it’s easy to get A’s, but there also must be motivation, an incentive.
Who says she’ll use her nature in a positive way and not be lazy? Who says she’ll use her talents and not let them be wasted? Who says he will make other people happy with his pleasant demeanor? Who says it’s easy to be a believer just because you were born into a family of believers?
Yes, here too there’s a choice.
A person born at the top of the mountain could choose to tumble down.
And Isaac prayed to the Lord opposite his wife because she was barren, and the Lord accepted his prayer, and Rebecca his wife conceived (ibid 25:21).
accepted his prayer: But not hers, for the prayer of a righteous man, the son of a righteous man, does not compare to the prayer of a righteous man, the son of a wicked man. Therefore, [He accepted] his prayer and not hers. — [Yev. 64a]
Sometimes staying on top is even harder. So, we can’t take anything for granted.
***
She’s tired. She’s hungry. She’s angry. She’s alone.
She makes excuses.
“I didn’t have breakfast because…”
“I don’t exercise because…”
“I don’t have time for friends because…”
“I have no outlets, no hobbies, no time to myself because…”
“I don’t sleep enough because…”
I know these excuses. I use them too! But, then I learn and I give over to women of all stages and ages that…
And make for me tasty foods as I like, and bring them to me, and I will eat, in order that my soul will bless you before I die (ibid 27:4)."
The prophetic spirit can rest only upon someone who is in a state of joy-Shabbat 30b, which implies satisfaction of all one’s needs-Lekach Tov, see Ramban- Artscroll Chumash
You can’t even bless anyone if you’re hungry!
You can’t take care of anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself!
Being happy is being holy.
Satisfaction of all one’s needs (food, dress, sleep, mental and emotional health) is a necessity for connecting…It’s the means to achieving. It’s a means to giving.
***
May we merit to make the right choices and choose to be ourselves. May we utilize our G-d given gifts and not make comparisons. May we take care of ourselves and love ourselves and have the strength and joy to love and take care of others.
Chodesh tov and Shabbat Shalom! With many blessings for this month of light and miracles!
Elana