The World Has Gone Mad

She’s intimidated. The thought of it overwhelms her. What if she puts herself out there and she isn’t a success? What if they don’t like her or don’t want what…she says, she teaches, she sells, she makes? Should she even try?

What if she hasn’t reached that level, the level in her eyes, of being a good wife, a good mother? She should wait…forever? Should she even go out?

What if she’s given a responsibility, a task, a role and she can’t see it to completion? She should even start? Should she even try?

What if she puts her heart into something…gives it her all, her energy, her money, her time and the investment (whatever it or who it is) fails?

So many fears and daunting thoughts to stop her from even starting or from even trying.

And Abraham said to his servant, the elder of his house, who ruled over all that was his, "Please place your hand under my thigh. And I will adjure you by the Lord, the God of the heaven and the God of the earth, that you will not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, in whose midst I dwell. But you shall go to my land and to my birthplace, and you shall take a wife for my son, for Isaac." And the servant said to him, "Perhaps the woman will not wish to go after me to this land…” And if the woman will not wish to go after you, you will be absolved of this, my oath; only do not return my son back there.” And the servant placed his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master, and he swore to him concerning this matter. And the servant took ten camels of his master's camels, and he went, and all the best of his master was in his hand; and he arose, and he went to Aram naharaim, to the city of Nahor. (Beresheit 24:2-10)."

You’re right. Maybe they won’t like you or it won’t be a success. Maybe you’ll open a store of goods and no one will buy. Maybe you’ll go on a date and he’s not your destiny. Maybe the treatment will fail this time. Maybe you’ll start something and see that you can’t finish it or it’s not the right thing for you to do. Maybe you’ll never reach that “level” that you aspire to reach.

You’re right.

You still need to try.

You still need to put yourself “out there.” Remember these words, take them to heart. Life is not about achieving or accomplishing. Even the “doing” is not in our hands. Everything is in the Hands of Hashem. What one must do is to take that first step and try.

***

Nothing makes sense. She sees and hears about this tragedy and that suffering. She’s in so much pain and feels like she can’t take it anymore.

She feels like if one more thing happens it will push her off the edge.

She looks around and she wonders if the whole world has gone bad and they look at her and think that she’s the one who is crazy.

Now Isaac was on his way, coming from Be'er Lachai Ro'i, and he dwelt in the land of the south. And Isaac went forth to pray in the field towards evening, and he lifted his eyes and saw, and behold, camels were approaching. And Rebecca lifted her eyes, and saw Isaac, and she let herself down from the camel (ibid 24:62-64).

and saw Isaac: She saw his majestic appearance, and she was astounded by him (Gen. Rabbah 60:14). ראתה אותו הדור ותוהא מפניו:

Yitzchak was coming from Gan Eden. He went there to be cured from the wound his father made on his throat at the akeidah. He was walking with his head down and his feet up [for this is the way people in Gan Eden walk]…. This is the translation of in Rashi's commentary. הדור] means turned around or upside down], Rivkah saw Yitzchak walking upside down, because this is the way people walk in Gan Eden…- Reb Avodyah of Bartenura zt'l

She saw Yitzchak coming from Gan Eden, and he was coming with his head down, and his feet above. Rashi writes ראתה אותו הדור ותוהא מפניו:and because his feet were up…- Riv'a (from the Baalei HaTosfos)

So yes, if we see the world at face value, it’s unbearable. There’s too much and we are nowadays exposed to all of it. If only somehow, we could understand that there is much more to what we see. Faith is a constant test of going forward despite the fact that nothing is as it appears to be. It’s protecting yourself and your integrity. It’s having compassion and empathy and at the same time knowing that you can’t always go there…always hear about that…always look at everything in front of you.

And she said to the servant, "Who is that man walking in the field towards us?" And the servant said, "He is my master." And she took the veil and covered herself (ibid 24:65).

It’s a balancing act, not of denial, but of acceptance. To know one’s boundaries, what you can handle and to shield yourself from what you cannot. It’s an upside-down world that we think we see and with faith it will be revealed that the upside down is really right side up.

***

This is written in memory of the kodeshim of the Har Nof massacre that took place four years ago and in memory of the kodeshim of the Pittsburg massacre that took place this past week. May all their holy souls be elevated, and may we merit to see the Final Redemption with the world right side up.