Wait a Minute...
May these words be for the refuah shleima, complete and full recovery of Elchonon ben Liba Miriam, amongst kol cholei shel Am Yisrael.
She’s a pro at waiting. It’s starts with the school bus in the morning. She waits for it to come. It arrives. She pats her son on the shoulder, flashes him a smile. She wishes him a good day. Okay, that’s done.
She waits in line at the supermarket.
She waits while they put her on hold on the phone.
She waits for the seasons to end and the next holiday to arrive.
She waits for a milestone.
She waits for a red light in her life to turn green.
One day she waited with her son at the dentist. An hour they waited. It felt like their turn would never come. At first, she felt frustrated, annoyed by the waiting with the feeling of, “What a waste of time. I’m not getting anything done.” When their turn finally came she realized that the wait was simply something she had to do to get from here to there. It wasn’t in vain. On contrary, the wait in itself was part of the process of acquiring or achieving.
This new outlook changed her life. She was able to take the waiting in stride.
One day though she was tested.
Actually, everyday she’s tested. This one defies her. This one doesn’t listen to her. This one plain annoys her. Maybe it’s not a “one” but something. Something upsets her, angers her. She’s about to react with a snappy comment or remark. And then…
She waits!
A lighting bolt of clarity stuck her.
If she waits for so many things in her life. Can’t she wait once more? For what?
A reaction…
If you go out to war against your enemies, and the Lord, your God, will deliver him into your hands, and you take his captives, and you see among the captives a woman who is beautiful in form and you desire her, you may take [her] for yourself as a wife. You shall bring her into your home, and she shall shave her head and let her nails grow. And she shall remove the garment of her captivity from upon herself, and stay in your house, and weep for her father and her mother for a full month. After that, you may be intimate with her and possess her, and she will be a wife for you (Devarim 21:10-13).
The woman of beautiful form-The Torah spoke only in response to the Evil Inclination-Sifre.
That’s right because in that moment when your whole body is tense and your stressed, you must know that you are at war and you’re going to lose this battle. However, in that moment when the desire to do something or say something is so strong and you wait, do you realize that you won?
You can get upset. You can be hurt or angry. Not just at them or that, but at yourself. Fine, but only with the prerequisite that it’s after you wait.
Wait.
To do what? To yell… To comment or even to say a thoughtless word…To put yourself or someone else down for making human mistake…
That’s right. The wait is part of the process which gets you from A to B. The light doesn’t turn green before it’s red. You wait, and you realize that your anger is gone, or at least it’s less intense. You can approach the situation now calmly, more objectively. You react appropriately. You won.
May we merit to ingrain this lesson in our minds and in our hearts and become experts in waiting and masters of being calm! May we understand that the wait in our lives is all part of the process.
Shabbat shalom,
Ketiva ve Chatima Tova!
Elana