Walk Away
She keeps opening the same wound and for some reason she can’t figure out why it won’t heal. Why it still hurts. To you, it seems obvious, but to her, she’s blind. What is she blinded by? By good intentions, by naiveite, by hopeful dreams and wishes.
You see she keeps reaching out, thinking that if only she’s strong enough or good enough, then she won’t feel pain. It’s all her fault she reasons. She needs to learn how to deal with it. But what she doesn’t realize is that by putting herself in the same vulnerable spot over and over again she reopens a wound. A wound that can then never heal.
So mistakenly she returns to the place of pain or maybe it’s a person. Maybe it’s a challenging situation that she attempts to redo or to conquer. Whatever it is, she thinks that the greatness lies in her reliving it or confronting it.
She’s a woman who on a diet and puts herself in front of an ice cream store thinking it’s just a matter of will. It’s just a matter of, “Why can’t I be stronger?” And here, in this situation, she’s wrong. Greatness lies in distancing herself from the pain or temptation. Greatness lies in NOT making herself a victim, not exposing herself to a test that at this point in her life would be too great to bear.
Sometimes greatness lies in walking away.
It could also be that she’s a mother. She’s a giver. She’s a woman who is juggling many roles and responsibilities. She’s exhausted. She’s snappy. She’s impatient. What does she do? She pushes herself a little bit more. Instead of getting more sleep or taking a nap she beats herself up about her impatience. If only she were good enough she could be more patient, but that’s simply not true. She’s neither an angel, nor is it right for her to be a martyr.
You shall set a king over you, one whom the Lord, your God, chooses; from among your brothers, you shall set a king over yourself; you shall not appoint a foreigner over yourself, one who is not your brother. Only, he may not acquire many horses for himself, so that he will not bring the people back to Egypt in order to acquire many horses, for the Lord said to you, "You shall not return that way anymore (Devarim 17:15-16)."
Yes, life is humbling and we all have limitations. Even a king!
It’s okay to say, “I can’t because if I do, I’ll break, or I’ll feel miserable.” It’s not just physically, but spiritually healthy!
It’s okay not to conquer and instead to backdown. It’s okay to leave the matter and not bring it up again. It’s okay to distance yourself from a challenge that is simply too great to overcome.
May we never be tested, and may we have the wisdom not to put ourselves in a test! May we find strength in distancing ourselves from that which leads us down the path back to slavery. May we find a healthy balance in all aspects of our lives.
Shabbat Shalom,
Ketiva ve Chatima Tova!