A Blessing in Disguise?

May these words be for the refuah shleima, complete and full recovery of Elchonan ben Liba Miriam, amongst kol cholei shel Am Yisrael.

This whole summer she keeps telling herself to focus on the positive. Like the noise and mess is a blessing because there are children. The fighting is a blessing because it means that the siblings have each other, right? The slow-down in clients (even though the expenses are more than ever) means she has more time to dedicate to the family that needs her. Even the lack of sleep, heat, and total exhaustion, she does somersaults in her mind to turn them all into a blessing.

She tells herself, “It’s all about perspective.” Perspective. As in, “How do I choose to see this situation?” It’s her choice, right? She looks and searches for the blessing that surely lies beneath even the most turbulent surface.

She reads the written words:

See, I set before you today a blessing and a curse (Devarim 11:26).

“Ahha!” She tells herself. She’s content because she found her proof. “There it is! It is all about how I choose to “see” what is set before me. Do I see this as a blessing or a curse? The seeing determines if it’s a blessing or a curse. Right?

The more she thinks about it, the more she realizes that she’s not so sure….

Why?

***

She’s riding in a car to the beach with her family. Two of the children went on the bus because they no longer fit in a car. She’s in the back with two of the little ones. The baby cries and screams. She takes the baby out of the car seat to comfort her and in the moment that she is putting the baby back a police officer passes by on his motorcycle and pears into the car. He’s looking for a driver on the phone. Instead he sees her in the back with the unbuckled baby. He pulls them over and gives them a ticket for nearly $300, a ticket that is $300 more than they have or can afford.

She holds back tears. She feels silly, but yes, she wants to cry. She tries to see this as a blessing and she can’t. Don’t tell her it’s an atonement or it happened instead of something else. She knows that intellectually this little incident really isn’t a big deal. In reality it’s the least of her worries. And yet, it still makes her upset and she’s angry.

She thinks of all the people she knows and encounters. So many come into her life. She sees a lot in her little clinic. She hears a lot of sorrows and woes. She knows that everyone has trials and tests and challenges. Yet, she also sees that really, some people objectively have harder struggles and some people objectively have easier lives.

Some people in certain areas always feel like they are banging their head against a closed door and some people in certain areas always seem to enter freely.

So then, G-d sets before us a blessing and a curse. It’s more complex then just what we see or how we see it.

And then it hits her as she continues to read…

The blessing, that you will heed the commandments of the Lord your God, which I command you today; and the curse, if you will not heed the commandments of the Lord your God, but turn away from the way I command you this day, to follow other gods, which you did not know (ibid 11:27-28).

She reads and she understands. A person could have an abundancy of money or health or good fortune, but it brings them no blessing, no joy if there’s no connection. And yet you could be in a difficult situation and it’s a blessing. Not because of your perspective. Wait a minute.

Yes, because of your perspective. Your choice in seeing it as a means to connect to Hashem. That’s right, blessing comes when you feel connected. Blessing comes when you, in whichever moment you find yourself, feel close to Hashem. Blessing comes when we accept His will and when we make it our own. And so at last she sees the blessing. The blessing is knowing that everything is from Hashem. And in her moment of frustration or anger or pain if she turns to Him she is showered with blessing and true joy.

May we see the blessing and have the clarity to choose to be connected. May that connection be the source of our joy.

Shabbat shalom and chodesh tov!!!!

Many blessings,

Elana