1 + 1 = ???
Have you ever made a cake, using all the right ingredients and it turned out terrible?
Have you ever made a cake, forgetting one or more ingredient and it turned out, surprisingly, delicious?
You plan a trip thinking everyone will enjoy. You just left, and you can already tell that your favorite part will be when you return home.
You do everything according to the books and it doesn’t turn out like they said it would. In fact, it seems like nothing goes the way it should or how you would want it to.
You stumble through life, not knowing what in the world you are doing, but you make it. The things you spent so much time and effort worrying about weren’t as bad as you thought they would be. The very thing you thought you wouldn’t be able to handle, you handled.
Why is that?
Because life is simply not a mathematical equation.
And He afflicted you and let you go hungry, and then fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your forefathers know, so that He would make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but rather by, whatever comes forth from the mouth of the Lord does man live (Devarim 8:3).
That’s right. You could feel starved and you’ll be overweight. You could eat to satiety and you’ll be thin. You can put tremendous effort into something and it won’t succeed and with a little effort it does. Man does not live by bread alone, but rather, by whatever comes forth from the mouth of Hashem. Meaning, I, the bread I make or in other words, my efforts don’t determine the outcome, God’s will does.
Do you realize what a relief that is when…
You’re inundated with how to be the perfect woman, the perfect wife, the perfect mother and you feel like you fall so, so short of the role…
You’re so afraid of making a mistake that you never try…
You’re so afraid of failing that you’re paralyzed and can’t go forward…
You’re stuck over remorse about the should have, could have, would have…
You put yourself down over and over again…
You are so afraid of being whom you don’t want to be that you don’t even know who you are…
Yes, it’s a relief to understand and know and believe that everything, yes, everything is God’s will. That means if it didn’t work out. It wasn’t meant to. If it happened. It was meant to.
What a relief to know that I’m not in control and that thank God, I’m not the one in charge of running this show (life)!
***
May we merit to stay focused and not despair when things don’t turn out the way we planned. May we merit to know that it’s all from Hashem and all for our good, out of love. You shall know in your heart, that just as a man chastises his son, so does the Lord, your God, chastise you (Devarim 8:5). That’s right, it’s all for our good and all out of love. May we take the pressure off ourselves by not blaming ourselves and just grow from our experiences and our fallings instead of letting them keep us down.
With blessings,
Shabbat Shalom,
Elana