Tired of Waiting?
This is dedicated for the health and speedy recovery, refuah shleima, of my niece, Frida bat Veronica Shoshana, who is having a back surgery today. May she and all the cholim shel am Yisrael have a refuah shleima.
***
There’s a lot of confusion. That’s for sure. What to do, what not to do.
Confusion.
She’s here and she wishes that she were there.
She’s at a stage in her life where she’s in school and her mind drifts and she wishes that she were there…
She’s at a stage in her life where she’s home with little children and her mind drifts and she wishes that she were there….
She’s at a stage in her life where she’s at work and her mind drifts and she wishes that she were there…
She’s at a stage where she’s surrounded; it’s noisy and she wishes that she were alone and quiet.
She’s at a stage where she’s alone and it’s quiet and she wishes that she were accompanied. She looks around.
Yes, it’s too quiet.
Stages and roles.
Is the stage where she’s at or where she’s not, is it any superior to another? Is a person’s role in life better than another?
The Lord spoke to Moses, saying, "Take a count of the plunder of the captive people and animals, you, together with Eleazar the kohen and the paternal leaders of the community. And you shall divide the plunder equally between the warriors who went out to battle and the entire congregation (Bamidbar 31:25-27).”
Divide the plunder equally between the warriors…: Half for these and half for those.- Rashi
That’s right. The warrior who went out to battle was as important as his wife who remained in the camp.
The one who went out to work was as important as the one who stayed home with her children.
The one who went to synagogue was as important as the one who prayed in the park with her children (saying or not saying whatever prayer she could between swings, slides, and running noses).
The one who learned was as important as the one who worked.
Each one was doing their role. Each one needed. Each one important. And the reward? It was equally divided between these and those because life is not about getting ahead of the other. It’s not about comparing or trying to wear shoes that don’t fit. Life, holiness, Connection, is about fulfilling the obligations of your unique role. It’s doing your part to contribute to the greater whole.
Sadness, depression, despair…they set in when one lacks clarity and is bombarded by confusion. The answer? Stay focused on the importance of your role and know that no time nor stage in life is permanent. So be in the one where you’re at and grow (and hopefully enjoy) from it.
***
The wait.
Doesn’t the wait always feel like a waste of time?
Waiting in the dentist or doctor’s office.
Waiting in line at the super.
Waiting for your turn in some government office.
Waiting and waiting and waiting.
Waiting for the phone call or waiting for that job.
Waiting for that person to come into your life or waiting for them to go out!
Waiting in traffic for the cars in front of you to move or for that red light to turn green.
Waiting for an answer.
Waiting and waiting and waiting.
Such a waste of time. Or at least that’s what it feels like.
And then you realize that the wait was part of the process to get you where you need to be.
These are the journeys of the children of Israel who left the land of Egypt in their legions, under the charge of Moses and Aaron. The children of Israel journeyed from...and camped in...(Bamidbar 33: 1-49).
You see sometimes you move and you move quickly. And sometimes the going is slow. Sometimes you wait. You’re encamped. It might feel like you’ve stopped, like you’re going nowhere. And then you see that it was all a journey.
The wait itself was a step to get you there.
So, the next time you’re waiting. And you feel like your wasting time. Know that it’s the wait itself which will move you along on your journey.
***
May we feel tranquility and peace of mind wherever we are at. May we see the importance of what we are doing and not look to wear shoes that don’t fit. May we wait with patience and understanding that the wait isn’t a waste of time.
B’sorot tovot! Shabbat Shalom and chodesh tov,
Elana