If Only....
If only…
If only she had that relationship in her life she wouldn’t feel so lonely.
If only she had money things would be so much easier.
If only she were married…or if only she had a child…or if only the child was different…or if only..
If only she had that job or lived in a different town.
If only…
If only, then everything would be alright.
If only, then she would be happy.
If only, then she would be successful.
If only…
If only she were skinny…or younger…or prettier…or smarter.
If only…
You see everything boils down to if only…
Or maybe nothing boils down to if only…
Aaron took [it], just as Moses had said, and he ran into the midst of the assembly, and behold, the plague had begun among the people. He placed the incense on it and atoned for the people. He stood between the dead and the living, and the plague ceased (ibid 17:12-13).
Why with incense? Because the Israelites were slandering and vilifying the incense, saying that it was a deadly poison; through it Nadab and Abihu died; through it two hundred and fifty people were burnt. The Holy One, blessed is He, said, “You shall see that it will stop the plague, and it is sin that caused their death.” - [Mid. Aggadah. See Mechilta Beshallach (Vayassa 6:5, Ber. 33a]- Rashi
What does this mean?
It means that it’s not the “if only” that’s getting in the way of her being happy. It’s her, herself that gets in the way. It’s not the “if only” which will bring her peace and tranquility.
But she herself can achieve a state of peace and tranquility. It could be that the “if only” will make some things easier or will make her feel less lonely or sad, but it will be temporary. Because once again you might think that everything boils down to if only…but really, nothing boils down to if only…
The “if only” is you…
***
You see a person and they are so stubborn and then you see them in new light and they are determined.
You see a person and they are so forgetful and then you see them in a new light and they are forgiving.
You see a person and they are so needy and then you see them in a new light and they are loyal.
You see a person with a challenging personality or character trait and then you see them in a new light and suddenly that very quality, which you thought was a weakness, is a strength.
You go through a test and you find it so difficult and then later you realize that the very test saved your life.
The pain you went through built you.
The challenge made you grow.
The hardship made you more compassionate.
Why with incense? Because the Israelites were slandering and vilifying the incense, saying that it was a deadly poison; through it Nadab and Abihu died; through it two hundred and fifty people were burnt. The Holy One, blessed is He, said, “You shall see that it will stop the plague, and it is sin that caused their death.”
You go through life and you discover that the poison was the cure. The difficulty was actually a blessing. You go through life and you discover that the very thing you don’t want is what you need.
***
May we all get past our “if only” and by getting past it soar to new heights. May we take each challenge, each difficulty and see it in a new light.
Shabbat Shalom! Chodesh Tov u mevorech!
Many blessings,
Elana