Shine Your Light
Why can’t it just go smoothly? Does she really always have to work so hard? She questions, she wonders, “Why can’t I just jump from A to Z?” But no, that’s not the road laid out in front of her. Instead she has to go through this process. A process which at times is crushing and exhausting. She goes through each step, no skipping over here. There is a hilly “B”, a falling at ‘g’, a rocky “S” that leaves her dizzy and weak. Finally, finally she arrives at the end of her test, the end of her journey. She looks behind and she reflects. The crushing brought out the best in her. The crushing brought out her light.
And you shall command the children of Israel, and they shall take to you pure olive oil, crushed for lighting, to kindle the lamps continually (Shemot 27:20).
That’s right, so all those moments and trials and tests. All those steps along the journey, maybe you thought that G-d was out to “get” you. Maybe you thought He wanted to punish you? Maybe you thought He doesn’t love you? NO. That’s far from truth, He does what He does, everything, because He loves you. He does what He does to bring out the best in you, the purest in you. He puts you on this journey which at times squeezes and crushes to bring out your maximum potential, to bring out your light.
***
She gasps and throws up her hands. “I can’t do all that!”
“All what?” I ask.
She goes through the list with me. From the smallest to the biggest. She somehow got the idea in her head that it’s all or nothing. It could be something physical like taking care of herself. I tell her to try exercise and she thinks I mean that she has to start with an exercise plan of an hour a day. I shake my head, “No, I’m talking about starting with just 10 minutes.”
She wants to grow and take new things on. She’s into the idea of working on herself. She plunges into books on self-development and we go through things to work on. There’s anger and lack of appreciation. How about impulsivity and impatience? She stops. “I can’t do this. It’s sounds great in theory, but really, come on, never yell?”
“It’s not all or nothing.” I tell her. Maybe it’s just the awareness of something that needs to be worked on. Maybe it’s only once a week or maybe it’s once a day.
She’s never done this before-praying. She opens the prayer book and it’s way too intimidating. She closes it right away. “It’s not all or nothing!” I point to one sentence, the shema.
“Repeat after me, just say this.” She does and her prayer goes up to the Heavenly Throne and it’s heard and it’s pure and beautiful.
My daughter comes to me. She’s doing a dance and song for her class Purim party. She comes to me thinking that I’m a choreographer. I shrug my shoulders, “You’ve got to be kidding me. I have no idea how to make up a dance!” She won’t take no for an answer, her big ten-year-old eyes don’t let me go. I show her the one salsa dance step that I know and add in a twirl and a jump. The one step keeps her busy for a half an hour and from there she makes up the dance. I guess one step is sufficient. What a relief to know that a fourth-grader mother doesn’t also have to be a professional dancer.
And you shall command the children of Israel, and they shall take to you pure olive oil, crushed for lighting, to kindle the lamps continually (ibid).
crushed: He must crush the olives in a mortar, but he may not grind them in a mill, so that they will not contain sediment. After he has extracted the first drop [of oil], he places them [the olives] into a mill and grinds them. The [resulting] second oil is unfit for the menorah but is fit for meal offerings, as it is said: “crushed for lighting,” but not crushed for meal offerings. -[from Men. 86a] -Rashi
It’s just a drop, the first drop that Hashem says, “This will light my menorah, this will be what lights my lamps continually.”
It’s that little bit of effort, the little bit of desire. It only has to be a drop. A pure drop and it’s already enough to ignite and bring forth light. It’s you, it’s me, taking the time and the effort to start something and let Hashem determine exactly how it will illuminate and shine.
***
May we rise like fire from the crushing and be illuminated from each experience in our life. May we find the strength and the courage to give it that first drop, without fear of failure or inadequacy. May we see that it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. May we be surrounded by and tap into our own holy light.
Shabbat Shalom,
