The Treasure Before the Mountain
This is written for the refuah shleima of Elimelech David ben Chaya Bayla b'toch kol cholei shel am yisrael
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She’s running from one thing to another. She’s doing one thing and then another. She knows that really when she herself does it, it gets done better. It gets done “right”. So, she does it all or so she tries. She runs and she runs and she runs until, she collapses and then nothing gets done. Either she’s sick in bed and physically spent or she’s emotionally drained and irritable. Either way it’s not a pleasant sight….
***
This past Friday I attended a birth. I left after taking the challahs out of the oven early in the morning and I returned an hour before Shabbes candle-lighting. Ready for such occasions I do all my cooking on Thursday, but there’s always those last-minute salads, and the cleaning and laundry that I wait until Friday to do.
I ran home after the birth and opened the door, knowing that my work wasn’t done and there was such still much do in the hour ahead of me. How would I enter Shabbat? Exhausted with no doubt, ready to collapse?
It came about on the next day that Moses sat down to judge the people, and the people stood before Moses from the morning until the evening. When Moses' father in law saw what he was doing to the people, he said, "What is this thing that you are doing to the people? Why do you sit by yourself, while all the people stand before you from morning till evening?"… Moses' father in law said to him, "The thing you are doing is not good. You will surely wear yourself out both you and these people who are with you for the matter is too heavy for you; you cannot do it alone (Shemot 18:13-18).
I scanned our apartment and made a quick assessment of the situation. The table was set by my children. (The silverware was on the wrong side and drinking glasses were missing here and there.) The floor was swept and mopped. (Am I the only one who notices the crumbs under the couch?) The linens were freshly washed and dried. (Some of the sheets were on the wrong beds.) No one was showered or dressed for Shabbat and what was going on? My husband was taking a nap. The toddler was running around our home delighted that someone had given him an entire whole apple instead of the neat slices of apple that I usually cut. The six-year-old was dancing around and standing upside on his head while eating nosh and the two big ones were playing monopoly.
An hour before Shabbat and no one is ready?
No, they were ready. They were calm and relaxed and having a good time. They were happy to have shared in some of the responsibility and now they were taking a break. They got showered and changed quickly and we entered Shabbes as a team with peace and tranquility.
Now listen to me. I will advise you, and may the Lord be with you. [You] represent the people before God, and you shall bring the matters to God. And you shall admonish them concerning the statutes and the teachings, and you shall make known to them the way they shall go and the deed[s] they shall do. But you shall choose out of the entire nation men of substance, God fearers, men of truth, who hate monetary gain, and you shall appoint over them [Israel] leaders over thousands, leaders over hundreds, leaders over fifties, and leaders over tens. And they shall judge the people at all times, and it shall be that any major matter they shall bring to you, and they themselves shall judge every minor matter, thereby making it easier for you, and they shall bear [the burden] with you. If you do this thing, and the Lord commands you, you will be able to survive, and also, all this people will come upon their place in peace. (ibid 18:19-23).”
You see no one says that you should do it alone, nor do you, despite what you feel, have to. Yes, it won’t be done the way you like and it won’t be perfect. You know what, it’s okay. After all is perfection our only goal? Or is being balanced and connected and happy?
What then should we do? Especially when we do feel like we have so much responsibility and that if we don’t do it, it won’t get done?
What should we do? Relinquish control and step back in humility, not apathy.
Moses obeyed his father in law, and he did all that he said (ibid 18:24).
Look at Moses, look at his greatness and his humility! He accepted the idea of human limitations. He knew how to step back and how to step down. A leader like him, a teacher like him, there was and there never will be found.
We return to the one who is running and who wants to do it all. Maybe she can, but the price will be heavy. In the end she’ll miss out on this and miss out on that. And how do we know that in the process she or those around her won’t fall? Maybe if she doesn’t do it all she’ll be happier and less cranky? Maybe she’ll give them opportunities to learn from their mistakes or maybe in the end the not-so-perfect way is the better way and she’ll learn to accept, appreciate, be at peace, be happy?!!
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“I’m so confused! I don’t know what to do or where to turn!”
Confusion, indecisiveness, what destructive emotions!
“There’s so much grey here in this matter. We’re lacking clarity. Should we? Shouldn’t we?”
One parent wants to go one route, another parent wants to take a different route.
She’s not sure if she should continue working or quit.
They’re not sure to move or to stay.
When you are in front of a mountain, placed before a big test, standing before the challenge, what’s the worst thing a person, a couple, a family, a group could do? Disunity.
What’s the best thing that they could do? Be in harmony, stand together in unity.
They journeyed from Rephidim, and they arrived in the desert of Sinai, and they encamped in the desert, and Israel encamped there opposite the mountain (Shemot 19:2).
and Israel encamped there: Heb. וַיִחַן, [the singular form, denoting that they encamped there] as one man with one heart, but all the other encampments were [divided] with complaints and with strife. — [from Mechilta]
You see any mountain that you are standing in front of, any challenge or obstacle that’s before you, can be overcome when there’s unity, when acceptance is clarity. You don’t know what to do, which direction to take? Do you realize that if there’s harmony it doesn’t really matter? G-d will take you where you need to go and you’ll get there when He wills it. We need to be at peace and work on unity within and unity without and this will turn us into channels of blessing and light.
***
All the time this child is hearing what she does wrong.
All the time this young woman compares herself to others and see what they do better.
All the time this middle-aged woman feels inadequate and at a loss.
She’s an old woman and her face is in a permanent frown. Nothing, no one can make her happy.
All the time…
“I’m not good enough.”
“Look what you are doing wrong!”
“Why can’t you just…”
“Why can I be…”
She’s scared and she’s frightened. She’s stuck, she doesn’t want to even move. Why? Because she hears and she listens to those voices. These voices take her farther and farther from the truth.
What can she do? What does she do? In search for truth she opens and looks inside and she sees and hears the words of Truth…
You have seen what I did to the Egyptians, and [how] I bore you on eagles' wings, and I brought you to Me (Shemot 19:4).
on eagles’ wings: Like an eagle, which carries its young on its wings, for all other birds place their young between their feet since they fear another bird flying above them. The eagle, however, fears only man, lest he shoot an arrow at it, because no other bird flies above it. Therefore, it places them [its young] on its wings. It says, “Rather the arrow pierce me and not my children.” I [God] too did that: “Then the angel of God…moved, …And he came between the camp of Egypt, etc.” (Exod. 14:19, 20), and the Egyptians shot arrows and catapult stones, and the cloud absorbed them. — [from Mechilta] -Rashi
And now, if you obey Me and keep My covenant, you shall be to Me a treasure out of all peoples, for Mine is the entire earth (ibid 19:5).
a treasure: Heb. סְגֻלִֵֶַָָָּה, a beloved treasure, like “and the treasures (וּסְגְלִֵּת) of the kings” (Eccl. 2:8), [i.e., like] costly vessels and precious stones, which kings store away. So will you be [more of] a treasure to Me than the other nations (Mechilta). Now don’t think (lit., and do not say) that you alone are Mine, and [that] I have no others besides you. So what else do I have, that [My] love for you should be made evident? For the whole earth is Mine, but they [the other nations] mean nothing to Me.-Rashi
And you shall be to Me a kingdom of princes and a holy nation.' These are the words that you shall speak to the children of Israel (ibid 19:6).
“Don’t you see?” I want to tell her.
“Don’t you see how loved you are and how good you are?”
“Don’t you see how special you are?”
“How desired?”
With this knowledge, with these words of inherent truth she stands taller and her eyes shine brighter. She feels good, she does good. Some time passes. There’s a trial or test. She forgets them, she slumps over. There is such a strong force out there that wants to bring her down, but she repeats these words over and over and over until one day the words go from her intellect to her heart and she actually believes them and knows them for what they are-truth.
***
May we know our G-d given human limitations and know how to relinquish control! May we do with joy and not with a feeling of burden. May G-d grant us all clarity and may we feel harmony within and create harmony without. May we see and feel and KNOW how much Hashem wants us and loves us and may we feel good and may this feeling inspire us and propel us to do good.
Shabbat Shalom!
Many blessing from Jerusalem on my holiday, Tu b’Shvat, the holidays of the trees (Elan 😊). May we flourish and grow like trees, have our roots firmly planted in rich soil, be watered and nourished by pure waters and feel the warmth of the sunlight. May we produce beautiful fruits and see the beauty in G-d’s creations.
Elana