Too Busy? Tap into the Source of Possibility

They afflict her with doubt and they put her down. But as much as they try to crush her spirit she keeps believing in her dreams, sticks her to values and won’t give up on her ideals. She’s a woman of faith. She knows that if she’s connected to Hashem then she’s connected to the Source of possibility. She goes forth and continues on.

***

We have a story together. I met this woman seventeen years ago. I remember she was pregnant with her third child. Such excitement and happiness, she glowed as she carried that baby. After her second son came into the world the doctors told her and her husband that they wouldn’t have any more children. I don’t know the whole story. Maybe there was an ectopic pregnancy? I know that she lost a tube and an ovary. I also know that they didn’t fall into the trap of believing what the doctor said and they continued to pray and hope, continued to try. Then came the pregnancy and birth of that third baby.

We fast forward to erev Shabbat to a different decade and a different country. We meet again. I’m with her and her husband and she’s bringing her tenth child into the world. I think about their third child and their fourth and their fifth and their sixth and their seventh and their eighth, their ninth and now their tenth. The tenth who came in minutes before the Holy Sabbath. I know them all. Beautiful children, beautiful people that light up the world with goodness. Each one a contribution to this world.

But as much as they would afflict them, so did they multiply…(Shemot 1:12)

But as much as they would afflict them: In whatever [way] they set their heart to afflict [them], so was the heart of the Holy One, blessed be He, to multiply [them] and to strengthen [them].

so did they multiply and so did they gain strength: Heb. כֵּן יִרְבֶּה וְכֵן יִפְרֹץ, lit., so will they multiply and so will they gain strength. [It means, however,] so did they multiply and so did they gain strength. Its midrashic interpretation is, however: The Holy Spirit says this: You [Pharaoh] say, Lest they multiply, but I say, So will they multiply. [From Sotah 11a]- Rashi

You see there are people out there and unfortunately, they have loud, negative, crushing voices. But don’t heed them! Keep going.

He [Pharaoh] said to his people, "Behold, the people of the children of Israel are more numerous and stronger than we are. Get ready, let us deal shrewdly with them, lest they increase, and a war befall us, and they join our enemies and wage war against us and depart from the land." (ibid 1:9-10)

They are afraid that if you rise they will fall. Thank G-d, it doesn’t work that way. You’ll never rise because another fell and your fall is not because he rose. She has her destiny and you have yours. As the Talmud teaches us (Yoma 38b):

…and from your own they shall give you. Everyone has a portion designated for him by God, and the individual is privileged to receive what is coming to him, as was the case with the House of Avtinas. The principle is: No person may touch that which is prepared for another by God; everyone receives what is designated for him. And one reign does not overlap with another and deduct from the time allotted it even a hairbreadth. When the time comes for one kingdom to fall, its successor takes over immediately, as no king rules during the time designated for another.

And so, she errors. And she doesn’t understand and she uses that loud voice of hers to put you down. The doctor believes in himself more than G-d and he tells you there’s no cure and you’ll never get better. She says to give up, that you’ll never find a better job and he tells you that you won’t be a good wife or mother.

“You can’t change! You’ll never amount to anything!” They scream and they argue. Maybe even the doubt is your own inner voice? Which is at times the loudest and most powerful of all. So instead use that power and tell yourself loudly that with faith and the help of G-d anything is possible.

***

“I can’t,” she says. “This is not the world that I was brought up in. Maybe I wasn’t made for this? Who says I can do this?”

“I’m happy now,” she tells me. Do I really have to take any steps forward and rock the boat?”

“Why was I given this role? This job as an educator? A wife to this husband? A mother to these children? Why was I put in this position with this person?”

It’s so hard to live outside of that comfort zone. It feels safer not to try than to try and fail.

But who said that success or failure is in our control?

So now come, and I will send you to Pharaoh, and take My people, the children of Israel, out of Egypt." But Moses said to God, "Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should take the children of Israel out of Egypt?" (ibid 3:10-11)

Who am I: Of what importance am I that I should speak with kings? -Rashi

And He said, "For I will be with you, and this is the sign for you that it was I Who sent you (ibid 3:12).

And He said, “For I will be with you…”: He [God] answered his former [question] first, and his latter [question] last. [Concerning] what you said, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh?” This [mission] is not yours but Mine, “for I will be with you.” And this vision which you have seen in the thorn bush, is the sign for you that it was I who sent you and that you will succeed in My mission and that I am able to save you. Just as you saw the thorn bush performing My mission and not being harmed, so will you go on My mission and not be harmed…Rashi

I started to cry yesterday as the airport shuttle picked my husband up to take him far away to see his father. I felt overwhelmed and tired. Just thinking about all the tasks to do. How would I be able to handle it all alone? Then I realized who said that I could handle anything at any time? Just as G-d gives the strength and the ability to do it then, He’ll give me the strength and the ability to do it now. It all comes from Him. If this is what He is giving me, then He will surely help me. He and He alone is the Who gives the possibility to do, the possibility to succeed. Again, who said that failure or success is in our control? Who said that I am alone? He is ALWAYS with me.

***

They are a small group of about a dozen seminary girls. They are all eighteen or nineteen. I ask them to lie on the floor and close their eyes. I turn down the lights and play soft music. I ask them to breath in and out as they sink into the floor. To relax each muscle, to be mindful and present of their breathing, of the sensations that they feel in their bodies. Things that quite possibly they never felt or connected to before.

Ten minutes of quiet and connecting.

It’s difficult. Some squirm, or giggle at first, but by the end of those ten minutes as I speak softly about letting go and connecting, I see bodies that are relaxed and peaceful. I see shoulders dropped and hear deep sighs.

They are all day long in class and busy with social engagements. The ear is always on the phone, the fingertips sending messages. There’s no time to think or to process.

These women will get older and they’ll start to work and study some more. All day long, non-stop-busy, busy, busy.

Married life will, G-d willing, come. Please G-d, also children. Each stage, before, after, during. They, no it’s we, are busy, busy, busy. We are busier now (with what I don’t know), than ever before, especially with modern technology and I ask you, tell me, are you happy? Are you growing? Do you take time, just ten minutes, no more, to reflect, to connect? Or are you (and I mean also me) just going, going, going? We live with lights that never burn out, tasks that have no end.

So, on that day, Pharaoh commanded the taskmasters of the people and their officers, saying, "You shall not continue to give stubble to the people to make the bricks like yesterday and the day before yesterday. Let them go and gather stubble for themselves. But the number of bricks they have been making yesterday and the day before yesterday you shall impose upon them; you shall not reduce it, for they are lax. Therefore they cry out, saying, 'Let us go and sacrifice to our God.' Let the labor fall heavy upon the men and let them work at it, and let them not talk about false matters (Ibid 5:6-9)."

What is the worst form of slavery? Not of the body, but of the mind, of the soul. The worst form of slavery is to be enslaved to habit, to doing and doing and doing. No time to think. No time to appreciate. No time to change. No time to even be happy. Ten minutes, five minutes, even two. Take time, release yourself. Close your eyes and lie down. Breath, let go, connect. Let out a sigh and observe what is happening in your body, what awakenings do you see stir in your soul? Let go.

May we merit connecting to the Source of Possibility. May we listen only to the voice of faith and positivity. May we find the strength to stand up to the missions that we are given and may we know that if we are given a task, He will provide the tools we need to accomplish it. May we never feel alone. May we free ourselves from the slavery of being too busy…

Shabbat shalom!

With blessings,