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Voices with a Question

I know so many women whose minds are full of conflicting voices. Voices that say yes and voices that say no. It’s hard to know which voice to listen to and when, especially when each of these voices is a voice that is your own.

There is a voice of logic and a voice of reason.

A voice of emotion and a voice of intuition.

So many voices and I am asked over and over, “Which one do I listen to and when?” How do I know when to say yes and when to say no?

Well, if you, as an adult, are a person who is always getting hurt and it seems to be the same situation over and over, then it’s time to take a step back. Isn’t it? It’s time to listen to another voice, the one that says, “No, don’t go there, don’t even try.”

For example, when a person hurts you one time, two times, you can conclude that maybe it was just a chance misunderstanding or miscommunication. These things can happen. But when it is the third time that the same thing happens why are you so surprised? How is this voice of wanting to be with this person serving you? When the voice of yes tries to pursued you to give it one more try, know that if you get hurt once again, you have a part in it. So don’t put yourself in that situation once again!

Or how about someone who is barely managing what she has to deal with and then someone calls and asks for just one little favor. Should she listen to the voice of yes or the voice that says, “No, now it is not the time.”

Good question, no?

Well, if the saying yes will make you happy or distract you and give you a greater sense of purpose and hope, then listen and listen well to that voice of yes. It has the potential to make you great and enable you to grow. But if you find that every time that you push yourself, you end up sick, annoyed, or resentful, then saying yes will most likely lead to disaster. It’s time to take responsibility and set boundaries. Time to say no so that you can say yes.

We see in this parshah that if a bull attacks someone once, even if they die, the owner faces the consequence of losing his bull, but he isn’t held responsible. However, if the bull is a known attacker and the bull has attacked three times, then three times-strikes out. The owner, who should know better by now, is held fully responsible.

Why? Because we are allowed to make mistakes. Accidents, even though they are destined, are bound to happen. But we cannot allow ourselves to fall into the same traps over and over or repeat the same destructive patterns. We do have responsibilities and part of them is to learn and to grow.

Now we go back to those voices and knowing when to say yes and when to say no. Tap into the voice of responsibility.

Close your eyes and look inside and ask yourself. If I say yes will it propel me forward? Will it enable me to get “unstuck”? Make me a better person? So say yes!

But if I say yes, will I feel annoyed, burdened and angry? If so, then say no. A warm no is better than a resentful yes.

May we be blessed to know which voice to listen to and when.

Shabbat Shalom,

Elana

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